Kids & Parenting
Parents, Their Children and Organized Youth Sports
What are we teaching our youth about sports? Hardly a day goes by that we don’t read of another case of that parent or child who, without a second thought, reacts in a violent nature during a youth sporting event. This particular kind of violence has continued to escalate and has even resulted in death!
What are these parents thinking? Why are they approaching youth sports in a “win at all cost” frame of mind? Surely, they realize the odds of little Johnny or little Julie becoming the next Michael Jordan, Barry Bonds or Serena Williams are slim and none.
Organized youth sports are a major source of controversy these days. Their original intent was to help mold our young people through body, mind and soul, but they have, instead, become a haven for hatred, lack of emotional control and senseless acts of aggression by both parents and children alike. All the fun has gone out of it for our youth. They are being denied the simple pleasure of just learning to play the game for the enjoyment of it.
Now, it is all about showcasing talent and developing little boys and girls into the next high profile athlete or should I just say “meal ticket”. Parents put their kids in baseball, basketball, football, soccer, gymnastics and the like, not for the pure enjoyment, the valuable time spent together, or even the life lessons that can and should be learned in sports, but to create a potential money machine; providing Daddy and even Mama a big financial payoff someday. That is what I see and it is breaking my heart.
Don’t, for one minute, think that I am not in support of organized sports for youth. All three of my children played youth sports. My husband spent years coaching our sons in both baseball and football. We have some great memories! He taught them the fundamentals and gave them the encouragement to just do their best. In doing so, he never told them that they were the best and someday would make millions playing the game, but through practice they could certainly improve and have a lot of fun along the way.
However, we also encouraged our children to learn the difference between reality and fantasy. It was said, on many an occasion, that sports was a reward for doing well in school. We had our own version of the “no pass, no play, rule” in our household. We used sports as a motivation to succeed in all areas of life. All of us had a fun spending time together and enjoying the competition. Kids need to just have some fun, when playing sports. It gets serious enough later on. Leave the “you must win” mentality to the high school coaches.
It has been especially beneficial to our youngest, who suffers from dyslexia. He, from the age of two, has displayed more restless energy than any child I had ever seen. We discovered how allowing our son to play sports gave him an outlet for that energy. Was he a decent player? Yes, he had ability and size for his age, but the greatest purpose came from just being out there with other boys his age and learning to just enjoy the game and the beautiful spring weather in a very special way. He spent hours of time being with his Dad and I’d be the first to admit, to him, that meant the most.
A boy, of six or seven, simply appreciates the pure joy of the base hit, the home run or making the final out with a good catch. He isn’t thinking about being drafted by the Yankees just yet. Celebrate, with him, the smile on his face as he rounds the bases. Appreciate the moment and don’t make more of it than it is. You might just be watching the next great memory of his childhood. Don’t spoil it by being such a tyrant in the bleachers!
There is so much a child can learn from being involved in organized sports over the years. They are provided an opportunity to learn about sportsmanship, responsibility, discipline, sacrifice and disappointment. It is up to the parents to act on those opportunities and utilize them to the very best of their ability. After all, much can be said about the lessons learned in our youth through sports. What do you want your child to learn?
Start out, by letting them know the most important lessons learned in life come during adversity. You can’t always win, but you will spend your life finding out what great value there is in learning how to lose. There is always another day, in which, the opportunity to overcome will present itself.
Teach them that most of us are not child prodigies and we only get better by working hard and staying focused on the task at hand, whether it is hitting a baseball, taking that college entrance exam or being a good Christian parent.
The Michael Jordan’s of this world are one in a million. Once upon a time, we all believed in the saying, “If first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
Life is a competition. At some time or another we all are winners, but we will have our share of defeats. That is life and we must learn to cope with it. There are those who are just athletically gifted. There are those, who, through great discipline and hours of practice, turn out to be very good. God gives each of us special talents. For one, it’s sports. For another, it’s music, For another it’s math, but keep in mind that God gave you talent and it is up to you to nurture and make the most of that talent, whatever it might be.
Parents; don’t use your children to satisfy the dream you wanted for yourself, unless, the same dream is deeply rooted in the heart and soul of your child. If it is not what they dream for themselves, they won’t be happy. Don’t force them to be who you want them to be. Provide the proper tools and let the decision be between them and God.
Just provide for yourself and your children, the memories; pleasant ones spent on a Saturday afternoon just being together and taking part in a tradition set aside for America’s youth years ago. Cherish those moments in time when you and your child share the joy of accomplishment. Comfort one another in the aftermath of an embarrassing loss. Those actions will pay greater dividends than you blowing your stack because you didn’t think the coach played your child where you thought he or she should play.
Do you really want their memory to be, when they attend that big game with your grandchild, the time you totally lost your temper and began to rant and rave at the official or coach? Should the memory be the time you cursed at their teammate’s parent because you felt your child deserved to start instead of theirs?
Let your child be who God wants them to be, not who you want them to be. After all, He knew them before they were born. Dads and Moms are supposed to be an example for their children. The problem today; some parents end up being a good example of what not to be.
PROVERBS 22: 6
TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO; AND WHEN HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.
COLOSSIANS 2, 3: 21
FATHERS, PROVOKE NOT YOUR CHILDREN TO ANGER, LEST THEY BE
DISCOURAGED.
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Deborah, what an excellent, well balanced message. Good on you for writing it. I think you hit the nail right on the head in everything you wrote! With love, Deb
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