Humor
You know that it happens every year; you get those strange and useable Christmas gifts. You wonder what the giver was thinking when they were shopping for gifts. Do you really come to mind when they saw the fruitcake in the store? When WILL you have a chance to wear that Pink Flamingo tie?
To save you some time in your holiday shopping, I thought I would compile a list of things I don’t want for Christmas:
A partridge in a pear tree (or any of the other gifts in the 12 Days of Christmas)….and what exactly does a person do with Lords A’ Leaping?
Cell phones for the people who will be driving in front of me in traffic. I can’t tell you how many near-misses I had this year because of someone chatting on a cell phone around me.
A hippopotamus. I have no where to put one.
No fruitcakes please! Someone once said that there is actually one fruitcake and it gets passed around every year. Could someone please eat the rest of it before it gets back around to me again?
Turtle neck sweaters which are two sizes too small. I have enough problems breathing!
Cheap cologne. There’s too much of this stuff in the atmosphere already. If I wanted to smell like the Aqua Velva man, I would take a bath in it instead of using soap. Please….let me pick my own cologne!
Gifts that I’ll have to return at Wal*mart. Please spare me the pain of standing in that line that’s really supposed to be a single line but no one knows what a single line is!
Weird flavored Candy Canes. I get so much of this stuff that I’m still eating them in April. Who’s bright idea was it to invent a pineapple flavored candy cane?
Any books for Dummies. Okay, I get the point already!
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loved the last line! Like we don't have enough self-esteem issues! ha-ha!
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