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I know there is a reason why I'm still here
Though I feel that the end is drawing near
Never hearing her voice again, my fear
God please help me to accept my place
Self destruction is a midlife theme
I've fallen apart, or so it would seem.
Life's gift, I cannot watch her gleam
Lord please show her how to save grace
I've not spoken to my child for too long
Please help me continue to be strong
The distance is great and does not belong
Father, I pray, please allow another embrace
I failed my family and this I sorely know
Her mother decided another path to go
Reconciliation, her mother simply said, no
God please help me, I must give them space
I hold no animosity, this is mostly my blame
Not bearing well, this load of life's little game
I awaken daily, filled with guilt and shame
Oh l, my daughter, I wish to see her face
I feel as a shadow of what I once was in life
Forgotten, hated, never again to live life
I struggle throughout my day, enduring strife
Father please help me to find my place
Forgotten am I, by those whom, I love most
Ignored as refuse or some unwanted ghost
As a condemned criminal strapped to a post
God, this all burns severely like mace
I'm stuck here, knowing that I failed
When my midlife came, my life derailed
I didn't see it coming, but it's very detailed
Father, forgive me, for taking up space
Today, as I lay here, heart broken in two
I do not ask for love or relationships new
But forgiveness, to help them too
Lord, I ask forgiveness in their case
Don't let the them begrudge my failure in life
That which cost me my daughter and wife
I do not wish this continued pain and strife
God, please help me accept my new place
May 31, 2015
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