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Can YOU handle the Truth?
When someone wrongs us it’s natural to want to correct that person. We naturally want to let people know we won’t stand for their mistreatment. Sometimes we may want them know they hurt us. Especially if we truly love the person and believe they were wrong. We may even think we have a pure motive to correct them because we want them to be a better person. I have said to people more times than I can remember, even recently, “I love you enough to tell you....blah, blah” It’s true too. Even though I know God calls me to love everyone, there are certain people I feel more obligated to “help them” become a better person because I love them and don’t want them to experience the negative consequences of behaving a certain way or speaking a certain way. But really, am I trying to help them or am I trying to correct their behavior so I can avoid being hurt by them again? Even more, is it even my job?
Many Christians would say YES it’s our job to correct others, especially other Christians, based on James 5:19-20 which says, “ 19 My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, 20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”
We human beings are so good at taking only what we want to use for our benefit and forgetting the rest. It’s easy to take a single piece of scripture and with a wrong motive use God’s word to bash someone else and make yourself feel self-righteous and justified. This is NOT what God is telling us to do. God wants us to help others with the motives of HIS heart not ours. His heart is pure. His love is right and true.
A wise friend of mine pointed this out to me a while back when I was speaking to her about some things I believed were wrong with some of the people in my life. I was explaining that I felt it was my responsibility to love them enough to tell them they were speaking, acting, or behaving wrong. She agreed that some of things going on were indeed wrong. Meaning, not lining up with what God’s word says regarding how people should treat each other, but she wasn’t so sure I was really walking in love by telling them so. When I, like many other Christians I know, brought up James 5:19-20 she said, “yes but God also tells us to speak the truth with love.” Ouch! As soon as she said it the Holy Spirit revealed a reflection of myself to me as I was correcting these people in my life I love so much, Ouch! Ouch! Ugghhh, in my mind’s eye I saw a picture of myself that was not so loving. That’s putting it mildly. I actually looked more like an angry monster. I was being downright mean and rude. Then I realized I had pretty much always used what I considered to be the truth as a sword. Not a sword of the Spirit that cuts away the chains of the enemy but a sword of vengeance to rip apart the pretense of those around me....as if that was my job. I was immediately convicted and later in the privacy of my home humbled myself before God confessing MY sin and repenting of it.
This beautiful woman shared with me such wisdom about speaking the truth with love. I feel so blessed to be able to pass it on. She shared when someone wrongs us or hurts us in some way before we open our mouth to react defensively we first need to pray and ask God to show us the truth. Huh, I thought, I know there are times when I think one thing and the truth is actually something different. It’s just takes a little humility in the moment to say in your heart, “God, I think I know this person’s motives are bad or they did this or that but Lord only you truly know what’s going on. Please show me the truth here.” She went on to say- then we need to get still in our spirit and wait on the Lord. God may not reveal the truth to us right away. If we do get a sense or vision of the truth we still have to keep our mouth shut until we are centered in God’s love. Spewing the truth at someone still doesn’t make it line up with scripture. We have to wait to be led by the Holy Spirit as to when and how and what to say about the truth of a situation...if anything at all.
It’s been a few months since I started practicing this. Truthfully, I get it right about 10% of the time. I’m practicing. This is an area that I continually ask the Holy Spirit to lead me in. Also in the book of James it is written “ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. Ja. 3:6”
I really do want the people in my life (especially the younger generation) to learn to love others the way God loves them but that is not something I can pass on if I don’t possess it. And I really do love people enough to tell them things they can’t see about themselves for the purpose of them surrendering it to the Lord so they can be healed, but if I do it in a way that causes more pain then I’m only perpetuating evil instead of shining the light of God’s love. James chapter 3 goes on to say, starting in verse 13 “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
Instead this is what I want my loved ones to experience from me:
James 3:17-18 “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
So...I’ll keep practicing and praying, “God bless them change me”!
Written by: Trecia Wright
Contact Trecia at [email protected]
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