Christian Living
Problems Of Pre-Adolescent And Adolescent
Sexual Activity
(c)
by
Stephen A. Peterson
Both professional and non-professional persons are very knowledgeable with respect to the physical affects of pre-adolescent and adolescent sexual activity---venereal disease, genital and reproductive disorders, pregnancy---however, almost nothing is written or said about the negative emotional and adverse psychological affects this behavior has and is having on pre-teens and teens. Supposed or presumed responsible agencies and organizations throughout the United States simply brush this issue away as though it does not exist or acknowledge it as a problem with roots elsewhere.
Less than three generations or so ago, early pre-teen and teen sexual behavior was not even considered a social problem. However, today with the blessing of health, behavioral, medical, educational, family planning, governmental and even some churches/religious denominations encourage pre-teen and teenage sexual experimentation as well as continuous sexual activity as a right supposedly to help teens adjust later to marriage should they decide to do so. Organizational and governmental policies and attitudes towards pre-teen and teen premarital sexuality has made it appear an easy decision for pre-teens and teens to become active even before their 10th birthday!
Once deemed shocking and pathetic to even think of a 7, 8,9, or 10 year old boy or girl engaged in active sexuality is now view by some as completely normal. Some persons even view early sexual activity by young children as a God given right and encourage their children to begin at an early to avoid being considered weird. Increasingly, law enforcement entities are finding some parents of all social classes encouraging their sons and daughters by pandering to them in their own home while they are present!
Although these and other discretion negatively affect both genders, the greatest negative affects appear to affect girls. Generally, girls, if they engage in pre-teen and teen premarital sexual activity may have a child at a very young age or have an abortion. Despite the seemingly relaxed public attitudes regarding premarital sexuality, early and active premarital sexuality on the part of girls continues to affect how society regards them and how she thinks of herself.
Social engineering, inimical public policy, radical feminism, homophilia have all actively worked toward the breakdown of the American family or reconfigure it in hopes of making a kinder, more gentler situation to female oppression, to press forward the homosexual agenda or to make good already disproved socialism. Due to a lack of a two-parent structure many pre-teens and teens have caused them to venture out toward premarital sexual contacts. The need for close adult affiliation provokes many pre-teens and teens into a search for affection, attention closeness. However, when sex is used as a means to gain intimacy, their desires go unfulfilled because they simply do not take the time to become emotionally, mentally or spiritually intimate with the person or persons they are engaged with sexually. What has even been found with many pre-teen and teen boys and girls is they do not know why or whom they are intimate with or what they are about.
Fear of loneliness, confusion, boredom and pressures both real and mostly imagined are greater drives than the pre-adolescent (non-existent) sex drive or socially motivated adolescent sex drive. Loneliness and boredom have been found to be the biggest among teens especially. For teens, the attempt to break away from the boundaries and rules of adults is a major reason for girls becoming sexually involved. She gives him sex and he gives her attention and what she perceives as companionship. Actually what is occurring is exploitation on both childrens’ part. It is extremely difficult not to do so when both share the need of wanting someone to want them, love them or pay attention to their emotional and affiliational needs.
In a study involving teenagers aged 14 through 16 years, the results indicated that 51 percent of the boys and 78 percent of the girls stated they engaged in sexual activities even though they did not desire to do so. In a similar study conducted in 2002, more then a 1,000 teenage girls and boys indicated that they engaged in activity to obtain group social approval (everybody’s doin’ it!).
Television programming, movies, teen magazines have all contributed to pre-teen and teenage preoccupation with sexual matters to the point of being sexualized (an addictive state of sexuality whereby an expressive sexual behavior is deemed acceptable and normal). A person, teen or otherwise, cannot turn on a television programs or even view a G rated movie, in some instances, without seeing some hint of sexuality thus stimulating and arousing pre-teen and teen sexual curiosity and behavior even though these media do not represent any form existent societal reality.
The immediate consequence of pre-teen and teen sexual activity is the hurt relationship once the moment is over or when it is suspected or known that a pregnancy has occurred. It is well known that pregnancy is a common factor in the destruction of a relationship between teens. Reports indicate that more than 90% of all boys who impregnate teenage girls will abandon them. For most girls, this can lead her to feel that she has been used and abused by someone who said they loved her and would stand by her and even marry her. This generally results in serious emotional consequences generally unforeseen by the involved girl.
What is often devastating to teenage girls who become pregnant is that they did so while using a birth control device or while using the pill. Statistics that general remain hidden is the data which indicates that from one third to one half of girls who became pregnant did, in fact, use a contraceptive or birth control pill. This often leaves the girl to wonder if all that she was is a sex object.
Generally, when relationships are abruptly broken or destroyed, adverse consequences follow. Most teenage develop problems with interpersonal commitment because of their negative experience in purely sexual relationships. Girls who have gone through one or more broken relationships with their presumed boyfriend build up defense mechanisms to protect themselves from being injured or hurt by boys and men. They do this by becoming involved in multiple sex partners to prove to the boy or men of interest that she is attracted to and hopes that he will be interested enough to take her back. This sort of thinking generally never works resulting in her being uncommitted, living with any man who shows interest.
Sexually based relationships on the part of pre-teen and teens usually results in a number of casualties. The first of these casualties is the ability to interact meaningful with each other. The next is often trust as both individuals believe the other person cannot be loyal to the other if he or she freely sleeps around or engages in sexual activity with so many other people. An additional consequence is a loss of a boy’s and girls reputation. Even in the 21st century or the beginning of it, the double standard continues to exist even though both genders and every social class publicly condemn the practice. Yes, a boy may be considered a stud but he may experience mistrust by many as one who cannot be trusted around children and especially girls and women. He may also be viewed as a threat for a potential lawsuit over the issue of sexual assault or harassment. It becomes very difficult still for a girl to regain her lost reputation. Should she want to get married in the future it will be a factor in most instances. A recent Time magazine article pointed out that more and more girls and women are reportedly opting for the single life rather than for the married life. In too many instances, the reality is that there is a desire to marry but their sexual behavior and the presence of a child or two will see her being passed over as too much of a problem. Like her male counterpart, a damaged reputation can have a very negative affect upon her career, education as well as her health.
Pre-teens and teens that avoid sexual experimentation and sexual promiscuity can explore a multitude of other activities. Such as finding and relating to their friends in school, sports, artistic activities, community related activities as well as church sponsored activities. Pre-teens and teens who engaged in premarital/promiscuous sexual activity seem to turn inward focusing on their on wants and needs. While those who wait for the selection of a marriage partner are free to explore their relationships with others for there is no reason to pressure anyone into a relationship. Relationships are understood more readily and tend to be more transitory when a break up or change occurs. Instead, there is the freedom to see to the need of others in an unconditional manner and without pressure.
Recent research indicates that some teenagers are overly pre-occupied with themselves not because of a need to love themselves but more out of self-preservation---in other words, me against the world. Such persons are limited in their ability and freedom to love as love is merely a cover to manipulate others or to get something. Their self-centeredness is almost always a cover for their own conscious and unconsciousness pain and suffering.
Pre-teens and teens that choose not to engage in premarital sexual activity have the satisfaction of being in control. Teens should ask themselves: “Am I really making a choice or am I just going along with what everyone wants me to do?” Every time the teen chooses to stay in control of their bodies, strengthens their ability to be able to deal with future decisions that involve pressure. Such persons are leaders rather than followers. Those who fail and submit to the “everybody’s doin’ it” have no control. They have no freedom. They prove to themselves that they have no “ego-strength” resulting in a diminished self-esteem as well as self-worth.
Sexual expression based on conditions has no meaning and only has one purpose----exploitation. Despite the rhetoric, promiscuous persons whether pre-teen, teen or adult are not love. Love is not expecting something in return but looking out for the well being of the other person. Many talk of sexual freedom. True sexual freedom is being able to say “NO” to sexual intercourse under pressure. Those who merely engage in sexual activity for recreational activity or to be popular for the moment may possibly lose their ability to plan their futures and future marital relationships.
The United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate of any industrialized nation. Estimates have it that 4 in 10 females will have her first child prior to her 20th birthday. Some believe that one third of all teenage girls who are impregnated elected to have an abortion rather than continue the pregnancy to term. Of those who receive abortions, research studies indicate that over 90% of these girls report some sort of post traumatic stress and diminished self-image years after the fact. Forty percent of teenage girls who abort their child report suicidal behavior. Twenty-five percent reported turning to alcohol and an additional fifteen- percent reported turning to drug usage. Five to ten percent are reported being abusive towards their child. Although abortion rights groups never admit to or concern themselves with post abortion side effects, girls and women report insomnia, nightmares, mistrust of men, bitterness, thoughts about their aborted child, loneliness, fear, self-blame, and, for some, increased sexual promiscuity. Research indicates that up to 70% of women who had abortions as a teen report that their lives are worse because of their abortions. Forty percent of women and eighty percent of men report mistrust of their marital partner if they know that they were sexually promiscuous prior to their marriage and the explanation given as to why the divorce rate is so high in the United States.
On the other hand, teenage girls who keep their babies suffer immeasurably. Compared with their peers, teen mothers are less likely to complete school, are more likely to be victim of unemployment or low employment and are most likely to be o public assistance until they can no longer make use of it.
From a health standpoint, it has been reported that up to one half of all teenagers who are actively involved sexually will, at some point, harbor a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD). Of these, up to a half or a fourth of all teens will be carriers and suffer manifestations for many years to come infecting others and causing their own deaths. HIV and AIDS are thought to be the most dangerous and deadly of the STD’s but chlamydia, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) and the Human Patholoma Virus (HPV) in addition to syphilis and gonorrhea are more common.
Regardless of the outcome, pre-teens and teens who engage in early promiscuous sexual activity there is a heavy price to pay emotionally as well as physically. However, pre-teens and teens who delay sexual activity until they marry avoid the emotional pain and greatly enhance their prospects of obtaining and achieving a meaningful relationship with their marital partner in later life.
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I pray this very informative article and articles just like it will begin to circulate through our school systems. Our children need to be made aware of not only the risks, but they need to ask themselves why they might be tempted in the first place. We Christians need to stand up and demand that the schools teach our children more than just "use protection!"
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