Faith
Patrick Holloway
May 6, 2012
The Revelation
Throughout life, we all have turning points that grab us and completely change us forever. The person responsible for my turn-around was my grandmother. A phenomenal event at her death changed me entirely, and gave me a light at the end of a long tunnel.
As a young boy growing up, my family attended the Glorious Church of Christ, a spirit filled, hand-raising, speaking in tongues, dancing down the aisles Sunday event. For me, I felt doubt about the existence of God in heaven and his son Jesus coming to earth to live and die to save me from my sins. I sang the songs in church, clapped loud and hard and watched my grandmother shout praises to this God. At night at home, I even prayed “If I die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take.” Grandmother said God and Jesus wanted my soul and I trusted her judgment. Why, she talked to God at the clothes line or in her beautiful rose garden with the flowers she loved so much, and most of all, while she gave food to men and women that were down on their luck at her door. My grandmother never turned away anyone that came asking for help without first giving them some food for their bodies and a prayer to take with them. I asked her why she helped anyone that asked and she told me it was her duty as a Christian to help those less fortunate. Her belief and trust in this God had to be real.
When anyone would ask me if I was saved and believed in God, I would shout,” Yes,” but deep inside there was a part of me that didn’t have a clue. I just kept this secret to myself, too ashamed to tell the truth. Oh, but my grandmother saw right through my lie, and at twenty-eight years old, she made God’s existence perfectly clear. Her news of a tumor of the liver and a chance she would die rocked my world. Over the next two years, with many rounds of chemo and radiation, the vile, unforgiving tumor continued to grow, but her faith in God and the goodness of men stayed strong. How in the world could she continue loving God who was letting her suffer and die this way? When I asked, she kept saying, “My boy, you must stay the course and believe.”
In the final stages of her illness, as her skin turned lemon yellow from the jaundice, she refused to go to a hospital. Even though her petite limbs became twisted from the intense pain, keeping her from any movement whatsoever, she felt secure at home in her feather bed. Sadness filled my heart when all of her eleven children gathered together in the house she loved, to be with her until the very end. All the while, she reassured us that life would be okay, and her God would call her home. The last hours of her life, the family circled the bed and joined hands, merging their love for her, chanting and praying for God to take her and make her passing easy. The room felt peaceful, filled completely with love and a calm reverence.
Then, all at once, the true miracle began. My grandmother, who for months could not move, sat straight up in her bed. She raised her eyes towards the ceiling as though she had seen into her eternity. The yellow jaundice in her face and arms turned into a pink glow and in a voice as clear as could be, shouted, “Yes Lord, Yes Jesus, I am ready to go home!” With that powerful surge of spirit, she laid back into her pillow. With all her family gathered around her, the people she loved most in the world, she passed away. After witnessing this, my doubts disappeared. Her voice rang true in my head. “Have faith and believe” kept echoing from her soft whisper. What a powerful feeling to know at last that I knew I was a saved man!
At some point in time, we all contemplate who we are and what we believe. You even realize you were silently and carefully guided through life. My saving grace was my grandmother. She taught me and showed me through her life that God is real. The effect of witnessing her death changed my life forever.
I wrote this to help anyone struggling with there belief in God.This changed my life.
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