Very early in life, I was told and I understood that no one attains the height of excellence without having had the full or partial support of ambassadors who were either loyal to his diligent cause or faithful to him. I tried hard to rally round to meet with people and to make as many friends as one could possibly have, as I climbed life’s ladder of unforeseen and envisaged success. This was my sin and it remains my only grief, I tried to make friends with everybody that came my way.
I have been to many places and I have seen so many faces. I have exchanged pleasantries with more people than I can remember and I did shake hands with and gave pats to a plausible number of gents and ladies. I have been occupied with studying people more than I evaluated myself. And ironically, I tried to understand people without ever taking a critical examination of whom and what I was. Oh! It was in this strange vein that I tried to make friends with both familiar and unfamiliar faces.
Initially, I played my cards well and I was on a winning streak for a good period of time. I expended my resources and I found plenty sources of distraction – the right atmosphere for meeting people. It was lovely having people to hang out with and it was exceedingly beautiful having people to chat with all the time. But somewhere in the midst of the helluva camaraderie, my emotions got the best part of me. I just couldn’t deal with them and they were pushed beyond the fringes in which I could have graciously curtailed them.
Some of my friends wanted to be more than friends and with some of my friends also, I wanted to be more than friends. There was no acute base to define my rules of engagement with my friends and in the midst of the struggling friendships we drifted apart all the more. Tears rolled and many hearts broke; selfishness set in and there was restraint and withdrawal. If only I had taken a little time out to work on myself before I ventured into this game of moods and emotions perhaps, I would still have my friends till today…
Looking back at yesteryear and reminiscing on the days gone by. I have no regrets whatsoever. Betrayed loyalty, distrustful friends, failed friendships and broken relationships all taught me a true lesson. Every circumstance and situation indeed place me on track to be where I am today. I guess it’s true, experience determines maturity.
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People are humans and they will always let us down. I'm sure that's how Jesus felt on the cross, much like you! In the end, He thought it was worth it and in the end, you've changed and gained some valuable lessons. I too, have had similar experiences. Thanks for sharing. Being real about the tough stuff is hard!