Faith
You find me in the foolishness
I don’t even realize I’m drowning in
Scavenging for crumbs-
While a holy feast awaits
You want to lift my head
While I choose to cast it to the ground
You want to show me the grander things
While I’m convinced I can find them on my own
I walk proud and fast,
Not even aware of the pit ahead
But even after I’ve fall in ---
You still find me there, and lift me up
I cry for a rescue with my words
But resist with my actions
And still you come every time
Loving me despite the downward gaze I hold
I drag my feet as I begin to accept--
“well, I guess this really is as good as it gets”
But then painfully…faithfully…lovingly…
You pull me up, and help me see things in a different light ….
Why settle for this world when you have so much more in store?
------------------
an overwhelming surge
has washed away this confidence
vision is lost in the receding black tide
covered in the sand of ruined castles
an unshakeable tower
traps the being in its remnants
strength is lost in the struggle for escape
tears crash to the shifting ground
an inevitable scream
pierces the frigid night air
hope is lost in the lie
eyes close in irreconcilable anguish
an error of dreams built unstable
------------------
I think tonight I’ll try once more
Desperately pulling at the thorn in my side
And all the while
I know it’s not going anywhere
Your Word is filled with promises
The ones that will get me through these times
But how easy the knowledge and hope I had
Slips away when darkness comes
I’d like to shake my fists to the heavens
Tell you why what you’ve allowed is wrong
But what place have I to raise my sinner’s voice
To a King who redeemed me when I was cursed
But I realize if I try to run from you
You’ll find me and reach your hand out
So how can I turn my back
When your love resuscitates my strength
So I can’t see where this is going
And to be honest, I’m scared to move
But if I have to believe in something
I’d be foolish not to trust in you
Now and forever I will write your promises on my heart
And rehearse your words of faithfulness in my mind
So when the tears come in the bleakest night
I know that grace will carry me through
---------------------
Psalm 139:1-10
I walked around tonight
Looked up above
And I knew you were there
I felt the cold breeze on my skin
And in the small whisper of the wind
You hadn’t forgotten me
It didn’t matter what pain dwelt inside me
Or what despair made weary the scene surrounding
You heard every beat of my heart
And even though I made a mess of today
Living uncertain of where tomorrow leads
You are quick to bring me peace
Many things are not what they were suppose to be
And disappointment and shame have come heavy as of late
But you do not leave my side
Tonight I knew you were there
Even when I had trouble forming words
Or wrapping my mind around your presence
I was not afraid
Because I knew I was not lost to you
I am so small, but you have chosen me for your own
Tonight, it didn’t matter what the world thought
It didn’t matter how ugly, or useless, or flawed I was
All that mattered was I meant something to somebody
And that somebody was you
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