Christian Living
As a child coming from a dysfunctional family, I have certainly had some obstacles to overcome throughout my life. My mother was an alcoholic, and was in and out of hospitals most of the time, as I recall. My father and she divorced when I was very young. She did remarry, although she married a man who was very abusive to her. My two sisters and I had to stay with other relatives a great deal.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my mother very much. She past away back in '72. It wasn't until a few years ago that I even acknowledged the fact that she had problems. I always made excuses for her. I guess I felt that if acknowledged her sickness at all, I would be disloyal to her memory.
Anyway, as a result of the childhood that I had, I went into adulthood with many issues that needed resolving. One such issue was the fact that I never felt that I deserved anything good to happen to me. That wasn't something that was necessarily a conscious thought pattern, but it was always there, nonetheless. I guess I felt that I wasn't good enough to ever be happy.
As what tends to happen when you have those feelings of being inferior to everyone else on the planet, I married someone who only served to reinforce those feelings of worthlessness. My ex was mentally abusive, and as anyone knows that have lived with someone like that, mental abuse can be ever bit as damaging as physical abuse.
Fifteen years and three kids later, I finally did walk out, but by this time I had a very low opinion of myself. It has taken many years to get past those feelings of self-doubt, and even now they like to rear their ugly little heads up to try and taunt me.
This July I will turn forty-nine, and I wonder sometimes where all the years went. My children are all grown now with lives of their owns, although I must say that it gives me great pleasure when my two grown daughters call and ask me to make hair appointments for them! I wonder though if it is because they want me to still feel needed or are they just plain lazy? I suspect that they just don't want to be bothered with such mundane tasks.
I seem to be rattling on though, and I do need to get to the point of this article. The image that I have had of myself has been the reason many times that I have failed to be brave and step out in faith to pursue my dreams.
I have been a Christian many years, and to be honest, it has been a struggle to remain faithful the majority of the time. There were times that I did lose faith, and walk away from God for a while. It is true that as Christians, we face adversity on a daily basis, but that we are to rejoice in it.
1 Peter 4:13 tells us, "but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing: so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation." Even so, at the time that we are walking though these trials and tribulations, it can be difficult to keep our eyes focused on Him.
What has been particularly hard for me to grasp is the fact that God loves me so much that he gave his only son up as a sacrifice for me. My feelings of worthlessness that I have struggled to keep at bay comes back it seems when I am at my lowest point. I wonder how God could love someone like me. I know that the enemy comes and plants these negative thoughts in my head, but sometimes I feel just too tired to fight him. It isn't really that I doubt God to do what he says in his Word that he will do. It is that I doubt myself. Someone once said that we are our own worst enemy. How true!
Regardless of my unstable past, I do seem to be moving forward, and am now making decisions that will only result in God being glorified. After all, it is He that is in control and it is He that is opening up doors that only He could open.
I am starting on a new journey that God has called me to. I will be completing a Christian Coaching course in a few months. Only God knows where this will take me. To be sure, wherever it leads me, God will always be by my side.
I did wonder for a while though how God could use someone like me. I even asked my teacher and mentor how could he use someone in this kind of profession that had really never done anything with their lives before. Didn't I need some credibility for anyone to hire me as a coach? I tried to explain to her that I live in a very small town, and that some more "influential people" don't even know who I am. Without voicing my thoughts of self-doubt, I told myself that I was a nobody in this town!
Well, as what usually happens when I try to beat myself up, the Holy Spirit comes on the scene. He let me know right away that I do have the qualifications to coach people. God does allow us to walk through trials and tribulations in our lives for many reasons. One is so that we can draw on those experiences to help others who may be walking though some of the same things.
You see, I thought I needed to change the way other people were seeing me. What I needed to change was the way I was seeing myself. The rest would follow. I needed to remember who I was in Christ.
So, the big question becomes, "How do I change the image that I have of myself? The Word says in II Corinthians 3:17, "But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." We are to become transformed into the image of God. Wow! And how do we do that?
Have you ever noticed couples that have been married for a long time? Have you ever notice how after being together for 40 or 50 years, they each take on some of the same characteristics of their spouse? Some of their mannerisms become alike. Sometimes they even seem to look alike. Why is that? The reason is because they had spent a lot of time together. So, if we spend a lot of time with the Lord in prayer, in studying his Word, in fellowship with him, and in praise and worship, wouldn't it stand to reason that we would take on some of the same characteristics of him? We would become more like Him from glory to glory.
So, the bottom line is this. If you think that you are not good enough for God to use you, think again. Go to what the Word says about you. Go to the Lord in prayer, and remember who you are in Christ. If God can use me, he can use anyone.
Ruth Rusk
www.embraceyourdestiny.net
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by: Ruth Rusk
Ruth Rusk is a writer and Christian Coach. She lives in a small town in Louisiana close to her children and granchildren.
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
Date
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that
deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.
This article has been read 733 times < Previous | Next >
Read more articles by Ruth Rusk or search for other articles by topic below.
This article has been read 733 times < Previous | Next >
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.