If I see you on the street with another woman…
I wonder if I will ever be whole again.
I ask am I dreaming?
Is this really true?
Like a child,
clutching a broken toy,
I reach to hold my shattered hope,
but it's just a cloud,
a whiff of smoke from a warm love that once flamed bright,
now a heap of ashes, dead fire in my heart,
I grasp.but they are memories only,
a life now gone as though it never was.
Where is the ground where I drove my roots,
You, the foundation of my days.
My mind, a fiction writer scripting a novel,
illusions, floating through the mazes of my mind,
imprinting my heart,
longing for days that were,
Feeling life drift into seas of grief sad, empty loss.
I tie myself to this dream
that has become a nightmare...
my rage, insane jealousy
holding me forever to someone who does not love me now.
If I see you on the street with another woman,
"He doesn't love me any more"
my bruised and bleeding heart will scream
My shattered ego, aching heart, my fear and jealous rage.
"How could you do this to me,
how could you leave me,
tear me apart this way?"
But you did.and
I shall forgive you.
But I will live!.
I will accept this dream.
This move from the reality I used to live
to the truth
that what I still want to be real no longer is.
Something that happened while I slept,
when I couldn't face the truth about the fights,
the separations, the icy disconnectedness.
When I couldn’t stop
the slow murder of our love.
Because I refuse these chains,
I will awake.
I will move my heart to a new place.
When I see you on the street with another woman
I will love her too.
She took you away,
But I see that your heart by then was no longer mine.
My enemy is now my friend.
I wish her well.
I hope you love her more than you ever loved me.
I see you on the street with another woman.
I am glad now.
I am free to dream again, my own dreams.
To love again.
And I think..
I, too, can now be seen on the street with another man.
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