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Topic: Betrayal (02/16/04)
TITLE: betrayal By Eileen Modracek 02/18/04 |
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I was struggling to believe that my beloved husband, Bob, was gone after
spending more than half my life with a wonderful man. The shock of life without him
was more than I thought I could bear. I had no clue what devastation awaited me with
some people I had considered friends for a very long time.
Less than a year before Bob’s death we had moved to a location that was our
dream. Granted, it was a few hours from where we had formerly resided for twenty years
of our marriage. I was so busy with the treatments for Bob and establishing ourselves in
a new area that I did not recognize the lack of caring from people I had considered good
friends. Yes, the phone rang occasionally with some words to gather information for
what was new in this medical challenge. Only later did I realize that there were sporadic
calls with no action of coming over and offering a cup of coffee or the proverbial
shoulder to cry on. I was much too busy being my husband’s caregiver to do anything
more than receive a few calls and always be willing to give advise or listening they were
looking for.
Suddenly Bob left this earth and I was in a state of shock. My wonderful sister
stayed with me for about five weeks. She fielded phone calls and told the people that I
was not able to talk. Still, no visits, few cards and the calls dwindled. Had I not been the
kind of friend who had shown up at hospitals if there was an injured child? Memories
flooded me of all the times I had given my all to these few people who I had considered
closest to me. It was time for action. The first thing I did was to tell God that I could
become bitter or better and I chose the latter. I forgave the people who had betrayed me
at the roughest point of my life. Action was required this time. I never did a character
assassination but I let them know individually that they really had let me down at this
point of my life. I prayed every day for a small list of these people. They heard what I
had to tell them but chose to never call me again. Still, I prayed for them. And, I asked
God to be in charge of picking my new relationships in this part of my life. The good
news is now I have a few treasured people who I know without a doubt are the God
chosen people who want healthy relationships in their own lives as much as I do. I know
I have forgiven those who wounded me because when i I think about them the energy
around it is gone. They are in my past and God’s message is for me to move on with the
path He has for me. Bitter or better - I am so grateful I chose the better way.