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Previous Challenge Entry
Topic: TEARS - (as in crying) (10/04/04)
TITLE: Nourishing Tears
By John Lindsay
10/09/04
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For thirty two years my marriage has been nourished by tears.

Tears of pain, tears of grief, tears of frustration, laughter and loneliness.

Not my tears, but the tears of my loving wife, Marilyn. My own tears are few as my emotions usually sink deep inside me, but by offering a different response Marilyn's tears have helped me learn new ways of showing love and support.

I have learned that words are not always needed. The enfolding arms of a gentle hug and a
shoulder to lean on serve a greater purpose. When his wife's tears have their source in a
difficult situation a man usually feels obliged to offer a solution. Forget it. Better to accept
the tears, not explain them away, and be there for as long as needed. If solutions are needed, the time to talk usually comes later.

I have learned patience. Sometimes the well is so deep the tears last for days, but the flood always dries up in its own time, helped, I hope, by my being there.

I have learned the value of a compassionate response when the tears come from something
outside our marriage. When the world seems set against you, you need to be assured you have a friend at home.

I have learned to accept responsibility when my words or actions trigger the tears.
Admitting guilt is painful, but it is the first step to healing and forgiveness.

I have learned to appreciate honest tears. Tears that come from a tender heart, untainted by emotional manipulation or blackmail.

I have discovered how tears can bring us closer together, experiencing similar emotions but
expressing them differently. By learning to recognise and deal with those differences we come to appreciate each other in new ways.

I have learned that tears flow in times of joy and success. How easy it would be to miss the
good things in life if we always associated tears with negative emotions.

I have learned not to fear tears. I may not be able to remove the source but I can be a
companion in grief and in joy.

Let the tears flow, for through them I have grown and our marriage has flourished.