Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Brainiac (01/02/25)
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TITLE: Humbling Pursuit of Perfection | Previous Challenge Entry
By Linda Lawrence
01/09/25 -
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He’s curious about my God stories, and asks to read my latest—an 80-year remembrance of my spiritual pilgrimage.
He responded:Reading your experiences with the focus on significant inclusion of emotions is like a foreign language. You can imagine that science and engineering are not based on emotional attachment to data. . . It takes time to assimilate and reorient so that I can really understand your perception, and integration of emotional content. . . Your main point of depending and trusting God easily comes through. But, it's the second order factors that I cannot easily comprehend, or perceive.
And I don’t comprehend what he means by “second order factors.”
I laughed when Robert insisted I must self-publish the stories. I was delighted he valued them, but knew my brain could not handle the emotional stress of interpreting computer language.
I used Amazon’s free Kindle Direct Publishing once before and ended up paying $1000 for hours and hours of help from someone who was learning the submission and editing process for me.
Robert assured me that was only because I hadn’t used someone as smart as him. Difficulties with KDP would be “trivial” to him.
“Easy . . . a few hours,” he said. “We just need your PDF.”
What a gift Robert was offering. Maybe God wants me to publish?
Robert used the word “trivial” when referring to the process of uploading the PDF. He creates computer chips. He writes computer code for a living. He knows his computer forwards and backwards. “No problem,” he says.
But he’s never worked with a MacBook. What he thought would take a day has taken more than a week of days of hours. He has to research how Mac works.
Somehow, something called Sigil was supposed to solve the problems we had uploading the manuscript for the paperback. I say “we” because I sat next to Robert and his huge screen looking at pages and pages of gobbledygook he calls “garbage” gumming up the process.
He loves this cerebral challenge. His eyes light up as he explains the meaning of the symbols and code words, eager to help me learn. If the Holy Spirit wasn’t with us, by this time I’d have become a maniac.
I’ve no desire to strain my brain to understand something so far over my head. But Robert is determined to bless me with knowledge he thinks will be useful to me. He’s on vacation and enjoying spending mindless hours deadheading useless code, cleaning up stuff behind the scenes of my document—which KDP keeps declining with an error warning! If Robert wanted payment, I’d owe him more than $2000!
Easy? Trivial? No problem? Huh!
“Enough Robert! I don’t need a book. My story is not worth this much of your time and effort! And I can’t do this. I feel so stupid. I’m sorry to disappoint you after all your hard work, but enough is enough.” My motivation for writing was to tell my God stories for my family and friends. I do not need to publish.
“Relax! Trust me. You can rest,” Robert calmly intoned. “I’ll do the hard part. Your part will be easy. Just trust me.”
At home, I pace, wanting to quit, complaining to the Lord about this “gift” of Robert’s help. I remember how thankful I was at his offer, not realizing the “gift” would require so much of my participation. I thought Robert would just do it—not try to teach me what he knows.
But I also remember how Robert’s words struck me as sounding a lot like Jesus’ words to me when I’m overwhelmed. Also, I’m frustrated—but not irritated, which is amazing to me. Is the Holy Spirit working in and through Robert through this self-publishing challenge?
Now Robert has turned the “easy part” over to me. I sit at home with my laptop. But my brain simply doesn’t comprehend the Sigil code and my laptop doesn’t do what Robert tells me it will do.
I suspect this humbling, for both of us, is somehow as important as the eventual end result. Robert won’t give up.
What if God is the mastermind behind a publication of My Pilgrimage: Pursuing Perfection?
I'm smart enough to not quit yet.
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