Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Proverbs 3:5 (04/06/23)
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TITLE: I Don’t Know About Tomorrow-Episode 3 | Previous Challenge Entry
By Bonnie Kronberger
04/13/23 -
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He has good days and bad days. This day he doesn’t respond well. It soon becomes apparent he is sick. By the time he’s admitted to the hospital his body temperature is 93 degrees and he is unresponsive.
Is this the day you take him home Lord? I’m thankful it is well with his soul.
Antibiotics and other measures eventually knock the pneumonia and UTI. After a week he is ready to be discharged. He is sharp in his thinking, feeling pretty good.
“The doctor says you can go home tomorrow, Howard.” He has accepted his circumstances with such grace and kindness up to this point.
“I won’t be going home,” he tells me. “I’m going to a ‘certified foster home’.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that had been decided. How do you feel about that?” I knew the family was looking for other care options to take the pressure off of Lois and the kids.
“I don’t like it, but Lois can’t keep doing it. She takes on too much responsibility and gets very overwhelmed.” I sense he is carefully choosing his words, protective of his wife who has done her best. Lois and I have become friends. I too was a caregiver for an invalid husband, and I often praise and encourage her, knowing the hopelessness of an unknown future.
I am acquainted with certified foster care. It is seldom a good fit. The invalid feels abandoned to strangers. The family feels guilty to not do the care themselves. The caregivers do not pay attention to detail or go the extra mile. The care is adequate, but nobody is happy with ‘adequate’ for a loved one. This is my opinion and perception, and my heart breaks for everyone.
Lord, bless Howard and the family in this transition. Bring them peace. I know you’re a good God. Care for them.
Several days go by before I see Howard in his new surroundings.
His usual positive attitude was strained. He was ready to talk, but it wasn’t happy talk. He didn’t like the care or caregivers. I was pleased he was paying attention and actually advocating for himself; something I’d not seen up to this point. But I was surprised at the direction of his thoughts.
“I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. If I had the use of my arms I could at least do something for myself. One of these days I’ll let nature take its course.”
“So what are you thinking Howard? Have the feeding tube removed?”
“No. I’ll just refuse antibiotics the next time pneumonia hits me.”
I couldn’t argue with his thinking. Modern medicine can keep a body alive indefinitely. In days of old, the sick and elderly did not live beyond what the natural body could survive.
It seems it would be a great mercy to take him to heaven. Or miraculous healing. Lead him in his thinking. Give him Your peace that passes understanding.
“The family is working to get me back home. I’ll stay here three weeks to give everyone time to arrange care for me at home.”
Ahhh. He longs for the security of home and people around who he trusts. I don’t blame him. A search is on for competent, compassionate caregivers around the clock. Is it possible to find them?
We moved on to conversations of our growing up years and the crazy things that happened. Howard spoke of God protecting him from death and disaster several times. Now he wonders how God is using his paralysis for His glory. I didn’t know Howard before his accident, so I was curious about his relationship with God. My heart was blessed to learn of his firm foundation in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. We agree we walk by faith, even through the hard times.
The throat specialist arrived so I said my goodbyes. “See you in a couple of days.”
Two days later I received a text telling me Howard was back in ICU with the same conditions plus passing kidney stones.
Dear Lord, help Howard, help me, trust You even when we can’t understand . . .
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