Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ALONE (10/20/22)
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TITLE: Don't Leave Me Here | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Bahlke
10/26/22 -
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Moving from one steppingstone to another sometimes left me frozen, standing in the dark, where nothing looked familiar and everything in my life’s landscape seemed changed. It was disorienting to feel lost, to feel the earth shifting below, to lose sight of the beauty around my iso-watari.
There was a time when my sister was very ill. A time when the small blood vessels in her esophagus were bleeding, and her liver was failing. A time when alcoholism was consuming both her body and mind. A time when I helped her settle into a hospital room and then several hours later, after her orders were reviewed, testing was completed and medications administered, I had to travel back home.
Leaving her that day, so far away from home, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. She walked me to the end of the hallway because as she stated clearly, “I’m not dead yet.” As I turned to leave, she called out, “Don’t leave me alone on this island.” True to her spirit, she laughed as she waved goodbye. Those words choked me. That night at home, I cried out loudly to God again and again. I had left her alone when she needed someone to be there. I frantically tried to think of someone who could be there with her until I returned, but I didn’t know anyone in that city or the surrounding area. And then, I remember the reverend.
His name was JR but everyone called him “Reverend.” I had met him earlier in the day as we joked about valet parking and who would pay. He had a hearty laugh and had been at the hospital that day to visit an elderly uncle and a few people from his congregation. He had a transportation service and worked within his community through Stone of Hope Ministries. I decided to reach out to him via email. I described where and when we had met and shared with him about my sister. “Maybe,” I wrote, “You could visit her? I mean if you have the chance. I’m sure it sounds crazy, but I don’t want her to be alone.”
A few hours later, a text message and picture came to my phone. It was a picture of JR and my sister. They were both beaming in the photo, their wide grins sealed a new friendship. I called and talked to them and could hear in my sister’s voice the relief and joy she felt in having him there. He shared his own story of addiction and listened to hers. He prayed, laughed, and cried with her. I often look at the picture of the two of them because it embodies what it is to love and to care for another human being. Something in her had changed and JR’s presence in our lives wasn’t a coincidence. He was placed in our path, by God. The gratitude in my heart for him has lived on for seven years and will, I believe, live on in memory for the rest of my life.
When we are alone and frightened, God is there. When we are alone and confused, God is there. When we feel disoriented and in the dark, God is there. He will provide what we need and direct our paths if we but listen and open our eyes.
I’ve written about this time with my sister, under a pen name of course, but when I read the words again it calls up a pain that has perhaps dulled but still requires more than a band aid when I think about my wounded heart. I always circle back though, to the grace of God and the blessing He provided through JR. In a hurting world, we are never truly alone. Let us care for one another, and break the surface of silence, just as the fish broke from the water and reached for the sky.
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Thank you for sharing this powerful story with us.
God Bless you~