Being There | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Being There | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Bahlke
09/01/22
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A day trip to the falls. A river with stone beds and cascading falls that crept over lime and slate boulders. It was a warm day with high humidity and the cool water felt good on my feet. People dotted the margins of the river, stepping from stone to stone, and making their way along the river. I too decided to make my way up the river, careful to move along the stones, slowly, yet joyfully, I let my feet search for the smooth places to travel to as the jagged rocks made my feet ache. “What are you doing?” My husband called out the question with a bit of annoyance in his voice. I had paused a bit too long to consider my next step. I could stretch a bit and make the next smooth, large boulder, move to the smaller jagged stone, or stand still. There was yet another option, I could turn around and go back. This reminded me of life and as I paused on that rock, this is where my thoughts took me.

In the past few years, I had gone through heartbreaking grief when I lost my mother, I had walked with my sister through her struggles and watched as the beauty and light in her faded and nearly gave way, and I had spent many hours wondering if I had done enough- given enough of myself to them in their time of need and if I could have changed any of the outcomes. These were but a few of the things in the past that took up residence in my thoughts and heart. Returning to those thoughts seemed easier than moving forward knowing that life would likely present me with more of the same. Hurt, grief, loss, and worry were the things that tripped me up, and caused me to freeze and fear the future Being there, in the past, could cause me to miss being here, in the moments that called to me now.
I heard my husband’s voice once again, “Hey are you gonna move?”
I looked back at him. “I’m not sure where to go.”

“Go forward.”

“I’m afraid of hurting my feet or falling in the water.”

My husband laughed, “Honey, you will be okay, the water isn’t that deep, and I’ve got you.”

He was right, of course. I had made journeys like this before, and I may have come out with a scrape, a bruised ego, or a plan to do things differently next time, but I was always okay.

The Lord promises that He is with me always in every circumstance. He makes the day trip and the long journey right beside me. How is it that I can sometimes forget this? Looking at the scenery around me, I saw the trees sway slightly, dragonflies skipping along the water with their emerald, green wings and the water in a hazy sun reflected like small diamonds. I could hear the laughter of children as they too walked along the rocks, occasionally slipping, and falling into the water, giggles releasing from them as they stood to travel on the stones again. I watched as my husband walked up beside me with an outstretched hand and I smiled. Gratitude filled me then at that moment. My heart sang with a hallelujah chorus as I realized that moving along rocks or through life is filled with both joy and struggle, loss and life, questions, and answers.

I moved forward, stepping onto the rocky stones that caused my feet to ache because, on the other side of those, I could see wildflowers on the riverbank. Being there in that moment, erased the sorrows of the past and allowed me to reach forward, landing on a new rock called “here.” The present called out for me to come along and to take notice, to witness, to encourage, to care for another.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. (Isaiah 41:10 NIV).

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