Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: DEFENSE (06/02/22)
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TITLE: The Wall of Defenz | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Bahlke
06/09/22 -
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Maggie walked on, through memory and regret each step sank into the wet sand. The Defenz Wall was neither larger nor smaller than she had remembered. Time had not changed it like so many said that it would. It remained the barrier that surrounded her heart. To scale Defenz required perseverance but on most days, Maggie could easily pull herself up, and once at the top, all that she had surrendered to time, to circumstance, to chance was sprawled out before her. The colors that grew there in vines and along fences made her smile. These were the things she had overcome and that had long ago been laid to rest. Maggie let her eyes travel the space below and to the place where she had buried secrets, feelings, and regret, although there were no colors of victory, for these were the things she had not yet let go. Maggie knew that everyone buried something; an unrequited love, a heavy loss, hatred that could only be extinguished beneath the cool ground. To revisit these things, meant that one might gain strength and wisdom but there was always the chance that emotion could be stirred up again, burning, wounding, or leaving an ache that took longer to heal.
The Defenz Wall was what stood between Maggie and the things in life that caused the most pain and often, offered no relief or rest. She could still turn back. She hadn’t yet descended, and it was so much easier to not get caught lingering because a whisp of wind made up of romantic notions, the pangs of loneliness, or the calling of regret could quickly unbalance her and set her adrift. It was ironic that sometimes what she both craved and denied was to have a few moments to simply set adrift and give in to the musings of her all too human self.
Maggie stood still and closed her eyes, lifting her hands into the vastness around her. She cried out for help from the One who would both defend and equip her in all things. “Please Lord, this feeling, this memory, this loss, it overwhelms me. Please turn me around so that I may look with joy at what is still present and true in my life. Help me to let go of things beyond my control. Help me to make wise choices. Please Lord, ease my aching heart.” Maggie felt solid and balanced even though she could still feel the tug and pull, like the ebb and flow of the ocean.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). These were the words that put into perspective why she had built Defenz Wall. She wished to be a strong woman that rose from the trials of life, but she also needed refuge.
Maggie’s thoughts jumped to the present and with her next breath, she decided it better to begin her journey homeward. The Lord provided refuge, grace, and freedom for every wall that Maggie created. She knew that moments like this would continue to come and that she would likely journey here once more, but with each visit, something did indeed fall away and find rest. To place her heart in the hands of the Almighty meant safety and as a child of the King, she knew that one day the walls of Defenz would come down entirely and she would clearly see how the Lord’s hand at been at work both in her and through all circumstances.
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