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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: PAIN (04/21/22)
"Help me, Jesus. Oh please, help me, Lord."

I heard this weary but desperate cry as I entered Mother's room in the nursing home.

She didn't see me. Sitting in her rocking chair, bent low with her head resting on her knees, she cried out in her agony from the unfathomable depths of her soul.
Small pillows were tucked in around her to provide a small measure of comfort.

I stood there, weeping silently for a moment, watching her thin, bony, ninety-six-year-old body twist and turn, desperate to find some position in her rocker that would bring needed comfort.

Walking toward her, I called her name. She turned her tear-stained face toward me, repeating, "I'm so glad to see you, honey" over and over.

I sat beside her, massaging her arms and back, praying short prayers, and encouraging her to sing along with me some of the traditional hymns she loved best; anything to get her mind away from her unspeakable pain.

Mother had suffered from the ravages of rheumatoid arthritis almost all her life but she also suffered from a stomach condition that left her unable to use the available pain medicines of that era, so her suffering for the most part was left untreated.

The demands of seven active children took a toll on her body. Two daughters were born during the Great Depression of the 1930s, leaving her with pernicious anemia. Unable to breast-feed her babies, a neighbor took on that responsibility and came to our house daily.

Mother, with all the discomforts and hardships she endured during the Depression, still insisted on attending church every Sunday and Prayer Meeting every Wednesday night. Our family never owned a car so the two-mile walk to church was difficult for her but she never complained. She insisted that we all needed the worship music, the message, and fellowship our church provided, especially during the Depression.

Father, a godly man who loved and cared for his wife and children, agreed with her and took on added responsibilities to give her needed rest. After the children had grown and were raising families of our own, Father passed away, leaving Mother a widow at age 60.

Mother had chosen to live in this well-appointed, assisted living/nursing home complex after she could no longer care for herself. "I don't want to ever be a burden to my seven children," she would explain. "They have families of their own, children to raise, jobs to do." While she was still physically able, she spent blocks of time with all of us in our homes. Her grandchildren loved her vast repertoire of compelling stories, delivered with considerable drama.

But on this particular day at the nursing home, I saw Mother display some raw emotions that startled me and left me unsettled for a moment.

I was trying to feed her some vanilla yogurt but she couldn't stop crying long enough to try to swallow it. It seemed as though her pain was getting more pronounced and more visible with each passing moment.

I tried everything; cold packs, heating pad, massages, quoting Scripture, singing, and praying. Nothing helped to relieve her stress and provide desperately needed sleep.

Finally, I put my arms around her and said, "Your pain must be terrible, something I can't possibly imagine, but try to remember that Jesus loves you and knows what you're going through."

She grew silent then simply said, "Sometimes I wonder if Jesus knows or even cares."

I was stunned. This was so unlike her, so different from the godly, trusting Mother I had always known. But then she lifted her head and said, "I wish I hadn't said that. I hope He'll forgive me. I know He loves me and cares about me. If only I could get a full hour of deep sleep so I wouldn't feel this pain which covers my entire body."

I held her tightly, reminded her that God always forgives when we ask him, then
we both prayed. Soon I saw her head drop and her hands, relieved of heartbreaking tension, rested undisturbed on her lap. In her ear, I whispered that timeless, favorite quote from Aeschylus:

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart
until, in our own despair, against our will,
comes wisdom through the awe-ful grace of God.”
― Aeschylus

A few days later, Mother was asleep in Jesus, free from all pain forever. Glory!
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This article has been read 532 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Noel Mitaxa 
04/29/22
Very moving in its clarity and descriptiveness, the honesty that brings it towards the close, and the final release of an inspiring mum into limitless eternity. Beautifully told.
Laurie Bahlke
05/02/22
A beautiful piece! My mother passed away and we also had moments similar to what you described. Your love and care for your mother are evident. She indeed rests now with the Lord. I often remind myself when I am overcome with grief, that mom is with the Lord and no longer knows pain or sadness and in that I find comfort. Blessings and comfort to you. Thank you for sharing such a precious moment.
Verna Cole Mitchell 
05/02/22
You write this unforgettable article written with such love and compassion and wisdom from God. Your mother was a true saint and, with your dad, made an indelible witness of God's grace to you.
Laurie Kiel 
05/04/22
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful portrait of your mother. She is dancing in heaven, no doubt. This precious portrait will no doubt be read and prized by all her family.
Linda Goergen
05/05/22
Powerful, tender, sad and beautiful all at the same time! So well written!
Laurie Glass 
05/05/22
Oh, how sad for your mother to live like that. What a comfort your visits must have brought to her. This story is beautifully told.
C D Swanson 
05/06/22
Congratulations,
Well done.
God Bless~