Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: PAIN (04/21/22)
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TITLE: Empty Womb, Aching Heart—a Monologue | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Kiel
04/27/22 -
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The pain of an empty womb, the pain of empty arms, and the pain of a heart empty of hope. Pain. We all know it, we all hate it—not the physical pain of a broken leg but the pain of a broken promise. Not the pain of an empty stomach, but the pain of an empty womb. Not the pain of a fractured arm but the pain of a fractured friendship.
My name is Hannah and I know pain all too well. The pain of an empty womb was magnified when my husband’s other wife Peninnah had children—and never missed an opportunity to throw it in my face. She would say, “Oh a mother’s work is never done. So much work, but so rewarding. But then you know that Hanna, oh wait you don’t.” And she would give a smug smile.
Every month pain would come, not just the pain every woman experiences, but the pain of realizing once again I would not be a mother.
And then there was the pain of being misunderstood by the priest Eli. We all know how painful it is to be misunderstood and be accused of misdeeds but imagine—sitting in your church pew before service, pouring out your deepest grief and desire to the Lord but your heart is so battered words cannot even come out of your mouth and then your minister comes over and angrily accuses you of being drunk in church.
That’s what the priest Eli accused me of doing. Once again Peninnah had teased me beyond bearing regarding my childlessness until I wept. I was so bereft, I couldn’t eat, or even talk. Soundlessly, I poured out my heart to the Lord. In my heart I vowed to the Lord that if He will only look at my misery and not forget me, but give me a son I would give him to the Lord for all the days of his life and a razor will never touch his head.
My lips were moving but no sound came so Eli walked over and asked me “How long are you going to be drunk? Put away your wine.” I told him “Do not mistake me for a wicked woman, I have been pouring out my soul to the Lord out of my anguish and grief.” And Eli tells me to go in peace and says “May the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of Him.”
And the Lord God did! And I named that precious child Samuel which means “heard by God” because the Lord had indeed given me what I had asked for.
But when I kept my promise to the Lord and gave Samuel to the temple it was so hard. But I was so grateful to the Lord and knew He would take care of me. And He did. After Samuel I had three sons and two daughters. The pain of an empty womb was replaced by the joy of a full house.
And I was so proud of my Samuel. When I got to heaven, God shared a secret with me, and He showed me what would someday be the Bible. And I exclaimed with delight as I saw the names of two of the books: I Samuel and 2 Samuel. And I laughed with joyful pride as I read how God used my son. You might not know until heaven either how much God uses your pain and obedience.
But in the midst of your pain, remember what I named my son: Samuel, heard by God. God hears, God cares, God loves you.
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