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Topic: ZEST (10/01/15)
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TITLE: The Solution | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gary Ritter
10/05/15 -
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AP 7/18/2024: “Scientists Prove Women Have Smaller Carbon Footprint Than Men”
CNN 12/22/2029: “Agenda 2030 Nearing Completion”
Two Years Later:
We did it! Years of work. We’ve accomplished what we set out to do. No longer do we need fear the future! In fact, we received lifetime achievement awards from the United Nations and MTV.
It began as a dream. How could we change the world? The hard work of our dedicated scientific colleagues convinced us we had no choice but to act. First, a shout-out to a former U.S. vice-president who made this issue his number one concern. He communicated the terrible predicament the earth faced and the peoples of the world responded.
Think tanks engaged, ours most prominently. The problem? Someday the earth would consume itself through either global warming or global cooling. Naturally we had to assure that we dealt with the entire spectrum of potential catastrophe. And we have succeeded. Climate change has been arrested.
The first feeble attempts dealt with modifying crops, creating regulations, and imposing tax burdens. Nothing worked. But of course not. Why? Because humans were the problem! If we couldn’t fix the aspects of society around us, why not fix ourselves?
The ideas were many and varied. Perhaps we could engineer our night vision to see better in the dark and minimize our need for electric lights. The drawback we found with that in our human test batch was that they subsequently didn’t see well during the day. It produced a rash of traffic accidents in daylight hours and we realized how problematic that was.
Next we modified our human subjects to reduce animal consumption by inducing an allergy to meat. Cows produce methane, thus we’d need fewer cattle. That seemed to work in spectacular fashion through our modification of various ticks. They bit our subjects who became deathly allergic to beef and pork. So many died though that our pool of test candidates shrunk drastically.
The final unsuccessful experiment led to our eventual winning effort. We bred people to be shorter since midgets caused a smaller carbon footprint and used fewer resources. That was so close, but mothers didn’t appreciate the high mortality rate of their low-birth-rate babies. We didn’t think that was such a problem because “babies” are only masses of tissue anyway, but some disagreed. Regardless, that series of experiments gave us the ultimate answer.
We hit upon the combination of lemons and nanotechnology through a sensory dream we had. In that dream we spritzed aromatic air freshener while cleaning the house. When we awoke we remembered how some of our fellow scientists used nano particles as tiny scrub brushes in some medical procedures in the human bloodstream. That was it. Lemon zest! People loved the smell. We’d combine that with genetic nanotechnology to change and build the most radical but sensible idea of them all. And so we did.
The idea worked in our human subjects. Knowing it was better to ask forgiveness than permission we proceeded to implement our plan worldwide. We enlisted many volunteers and soon the fragrance of lemon filled the air in every corner of the globe. Once we’d distributed our elixir we told the United Nations and MTV. They loved it and dubbed the plan Agenda 2030 in honor of the year of its completion.
We look around us now two years later and see the fruits of our labors. The glitterati fete us and we bask in our many TV interviews. Indeed the world has changed. It is healing, with the eradication of every hint of climate change. That is because humanity has been altered. No longer are we man or woman; we are woman only. At least on the outside. For those of us who were men, we have female physical attributes – necessary to obtain the smaller carbon footprint we desired. Inside, we are we, having both male and female characteristics as a reminder of what we once were.
The world is most certainly a better place. Women are peaceful; we are healers. We have become a people throughout the earth who are kind and nourishing. The earth is grateful. Our Mother, Gaia, can rest easy for the first time since man populated the earth, because men are no longer. As we carry on, our progeny will…uh…oh oh. We never thought of that. My goodness. How will we carry on?
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