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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: A MIGHTY FORTRESS (don't write about the song) (04/23/15)
“I ran you a hot bath. Get in, William and I’ll wash the mortar from your hair.” Anna’s words are comforting and her touch loving.

“I am tired, Anna.” I tell her as I ease into the steaming water. I wonder how many buckets she had to boil to make my bath.

“William, are you sure we are doing the right thing?” She asks.

I ease down into the water and let it come up over my face. Anna’s slim fingers massage the lemon-thistle soap into my dusty hair. She rinses it out and begins to rub my shoulders while waiting patiently for my answer. The scent of the lemon-thistle wafts up and into my nostrils. It is a heavenly smell that I look forward to at the end of every work day. I remember when I dug the footings on that first day that I had to work around the thistle bushes on the hill. Some had to be uprooted to make room but Anna replanted them on the southern slope to get ample sun each day.

“Yes, I am positive Anna. Our people need this church now more than ever.” I grab her hand, kiss it and hold it to my cheek. It is warm and soft.

Anna comes around to the side of the tub and rubs the soap between her palms to wash my face. Her brown eyes twinkle in the glow of the candlelight. I see the concern in her face and lean forward to kiss her. She does not resist but after a moment pulls back with a smile.

“I know but I can’t help but remember what happened last time. So many people lost their lives because of that church; they lost their lives because of us. If we had not built the church, the others would not have come and destroyed everything. Some of the people in the village are worried and said they will not enter it if we build it.” Anna’s concerns are valid; many men, women and children lost their life on that bloody day.

“Anna, that church was in the valley. This one will be on the hill where we can see our enemy approaching. It will be lit all the time. I am a man of God. I have to obey. God has shown me how to build it. It will be a mighty structure that no man can tear apart. I have faith enough for us both.” I kiss her again.

“I believe in you William but most of all I believe in our Lord. I will get busy making candles for the sanctuary after your bath.” I remember falling asleep as Anna washed and rubbed my tired and swollen feet.

Forty two days later, I stand at the door of the church and look out into the valley. No one will come up the hill to the church. My heart sinks as I think about the lost souls in the village below. Their houses are warm with fires and cupboards full from the harvest. I can hear laughter from the market and children singing in the school. My sweet Anna is gone but before she died, she told me that the people have spoken; they do not need God.

I look to the setting sun in all its glory and pray, “Dear Father in heaven, thank you for giving me the strength to finish this church. Thank you for giving me Anna to love all those years. I know she is with you and that makes my heart glad. Please forgive these people. I will pray for my people because I know that you hear my prayers. Amen.”

I light one candle in the sanctuary window and break off a piece of lemon-thistle to chew on as I walk to town. My shoes will be worn ragged from these trips each day but I must not give up. These people need God even if they do not know it.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
05/02/15
WOnderful writing and message.

God bless~
Loni Bowden-Horn 
05/02/15
This is poignant story about obeying God in the mist of difficult circumstances.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/05/15
This is a charming story. You did an amazing job of creating a soft, caring atmosphere. I could feel my muscles relaxing as I read. The words you selected were perfect for the mood and setting of the story. You make it look easy.

I noticed a couple of tiny things. You should use a lowercase leter with taglines. Example: "Are we doing the right thing?" she asks. Even better you could use narrative lines instead like: "Are you sure?" Her eyebrows crinkled as worry lines etched her beautiful face. (It shows who is speaking while creating a picture.)

You did a great job with the pacing too, revealing important information in just the right timing. I think you nailed the topic in a fresh and interesting way. You delivered a timely message even though the setting is decades earlier. Great job on this well-written story.