Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: War and Peace (not about the book) (07/07/11)
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TITLE: The Price of Peace | Previous Challenge Entry
By Melanie Kerr
07/13/11 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
To think I can
Prevail against
A greater man
My men I thought
In armour bright
Were more than equal
For the fight
Swords honed sharp
And bows strung taut
Mine the victory
So I thought
But how can I
Ten thousand strong
Stand up against
His awesome throng?
The dream of war
A throne to win
My chances now
Are pale and thin
And so I sit
Before the fight
Before my passion
Burns too bright
To squander not
Such precious life
In this foolish
Pointless strife
A way of peace
I must pursue
My folly now
I will undo
I’ll send a man
A flag of truce
And yield myself
Without excuse
Not king, but I
War every day
When old desires
Would have their way
Armed with passions
Base and foul
Deep within they
Roar and howl
They will forever
Bend the knee
To Him who rules
Over me
Peace is mine
Before His throne
Allegiance pledged
To God alone
Luke 14:31-32
Romans 7:21-25
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In my opinion,:-)at times your rhyming seemed somewhat forced, and I was a bit confused by some lines of the poem. Ex. "But how can I(?)
Ten thousand(?) strong." Or this: "Not King, but I" - meaning unclear.
I'm also left with this question: What is the overriding message of the poem as it relates to the title?