The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/11/08
Somewhere the tables got turned in this story and how you did it with such a subtle touch is really impressive. Very nice work.
"I was Skip's partner in a life play and knew my part well," sums up the relationship of your two zany characters perfectly. I went along on their jaunt for a doughnut and savored it. You have a master touch with descriptive details. Great story!
12/13/08
I wish I could write this well. I am so impressed - the description, the dialogue, the deliberate understatement, the characterisation. Sensational.
Bravo! This is excellent. I enjoyed the story and could picture the entire thing.
This is great! Love the casual "bad boy" voice in this piece. Very well done.
12/14/08
Great descriptions and superb dialogue. I enjoyed this so much. Great storytelling.
12/14/08
It ended to soon... I was really enjoyin' it.
I thought your MC's were realistic. The mousy one who follows and the bossy one who leads is how I've experienced growing up. (Me the mousy one)
Excellent voice, super writing, and an entertaining story. Well done!!!
12/16/08
Good job, leaving us wanting more, wanting to know what happens. Subtle, yet clear as a bell.
Have to agree with everyone else. . . this is great. Your characters came to life as I read. And the way you allowed the follower to humbly - quietly - begin to lead. . . wonderful. :)
12/17/08
What they said... :)
12/18/08
Love the dialogue as they banter back and forth, and the realistic depth of the two characters. Well done.
Heehee! I love the twist in this. The title doesn't quite hint at what this is about, so I very much enjoyed this little glimpse into the lives of these very interesting characters. I liked the end though, when he finally stood up to Skip. The dialouge is very well done! ^_^