The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
A very compelling story and completely on topic. I thought your use of dialogue was good. I am not sure that it is grammatically correct to begin sentences with "And" and "But".
Oh, good job. That man needs decking!
Very nice. Good setting, great characters. I'd say one rewrite short of a home run. A bit of alliteration, a few small grammar issues, just a drop too much telling. All minor, all easily fixed. The rest, from theme to engaging the reader, etc was righ tthere. Great message!
What a horrible man! I hate him! You really brought him out to me. Men are terrible creatures sometimes... they think they're all tough but can be so cruel and uncaring. Touched a nerve! lol! Great job reaching my emotions. Loved the scene.
Oh, life is hard for some people. Good telling. The scene of Ginny sitting on the floor playing at smoking was touching. The choice of name (Ginny) is interesting. Well done.
Very well done! You have done a great job fleshing out your characters, flaws and all. By the end of the story, I felt like I knew them.
Terrific. I love the hope at the end, in spite of Frank's evil mockery.
Nicely done - the characters were strong, the difficulty of resisting the temptation so early in the process was well handled. God bless.
It would be easy to hate the husband, as one of the commenters stated; but praying for him would be better; Think about what Jesus would do? A touching story...and fits the topic.
Great job with the realistic dialog and a main character to really care about. A gripping story, told with great empathy.
Once again you carry us along with your characters and not just words. I think that means you're a pretty good writer! ;)

I want so much for that mom to succeed - and that little girl to be safe! (Having a little trouble about the dad here - sorry)

Great writing!
Great story. I like the baby jolting her mother back to reality. It was a bit disturbing to think of a child that young knowing what getting drunk means.