Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TRIP (08/25/22)
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TITLE: Fantastic Fiasco Foray | Previous Challenge Entry
By Linda Lawrence
08/30/22 -
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That’s how my foray into the fantastic world of theater began. Who knew it would be so different from what I imagined? My audition outfit of black midi-skirt, black oversized sweater, and black boots contrasted drastically with the athletic attire of my confident, youthful fellow auditioners. Embarrassed, so out of my realm, ready to quietly scuttle home, I was intercepted by a lovely Jewish woman, who recognized my discomfiture and enthusiastically encouraged me to stay. “It will be fun!” she assured me.
Ushered into a dance studio, we lined up and received quick instructions for a series of steps that threw me into a panic. I came to audition to sing in the chorus–not dance! I didn’t understand the dance terminology and I felt a complete fool. Tripping repeatedly over my own heavy-booted feet was a painful fiasco. No, this was not fun!
Finally, dismissed from dancing, I found myself in a dark hallway leading into the bowels of backstage and realized there was no quick escape. I listened as one by one, each would-be actor was asked for their music score (which I did not have). The score must have been passed to an accompanist, and then I heard a piano intro and singing. Peeking from the wings, I saw a lit stage but the front of the house was dark except for reading lights for the invisible directors.
The only foreseeable end to my ordeal was to sing when my turn came–and then run for home. What a mistake this had been. Reading the rehearsal schedule, I knew I could not make the time commitment required even if by some miracle I was chosen for the chorus. I was the caregiver for my mother with Alzheimer’s. Plus, the day with the most rehearsal hours was Sunday, the Lord’s day. If I’d known that before, I’d never have signed up to audition.
But there I was—up next.
A lone figure on the stage, l looked into a black sea, focusing on three small lights. From the dark, I was asked what song I prepared. Shaking, I explained that I was singing my version of Sabbath Prayer. I explained that with a change in just a few of the words it was a song of blessing I sang over my mother often, to encourage her in her Alzheimer’s world.
“Go ahead. Whenever you are ready.”
I had nothing to lose. Having already made a fool of myself, I had nothing to prove. I just stood there before God and sang my prayer to Him—acapella.
That was when the most extraordinary thing happened. The trip of a lifetime. As I sang I was taken out of myself. For the first time in my life, I lost all self-consciousness. For ninety seconds I felt like I was exactly who I was meant to be. My stumbling foray into the unfamiliar realm of theater opened a door that gave me a glimpse of the freedom and joy that awaits me in the heavenly realm. I was whole; I was complete; I was the real me. I was soaring. . .
And then I was not.
As soon as I stopped singing, I was immediately flooded with self-consciousness. My legs weakened, and I was the awkward, gray-haired dreamer, come back to earth. But I’ve never forgotten those ninety seconds of bliss. I had a taste of heaven.
Since I admitted to the directors before I sang that I realized I could not commit the time for rehearsals they made no comment about my audition. I don’t know what I sounded like to them when I sang. I hardly know what I sounded like to me. But I know how I felt—for that brief moment, lifted outside of time and space—singing to the Lord.
The humiliating aspects of the evening only make the wonder all the greater. I tasted the fantastic reality awaiting me in heaven—freedom from self-consciousness. How thankful I am that there is no required audition to sing in heaven’s chorus.
Memoir
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