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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER (02/28/19)
I curled up in my blanket, with my cloak rolled up as a pillow. I watched the hypnotic flames dance around the wood. Tears threatened to fall again, but if anybody asked if I’d been crying, I’d blame it on the smoke.

Cyran sat on the stump next to me. “Are you alright?”

I sat up, leaning against another stump. “I am.”

The older man shook his head, chuckling softly. “Who are you trying to convince, yourself or me?”

“I....” My shoulders slumped and I sighed, “How? I didn’t think anybody was near enough to hear.”

“You were quiet, but these old ears are still keen and I happened to walk by while the others were still setting up camp. So what has you so upset?”

I hugged my knees as I stared into the fire, avoiding Cryan’s gray eyes, almost the color of Mother’s and mine. “I miss my family. It seems like forever since I’ve been home. Even longer since my one brother left home before I did.”

“Ah, ‘tis a bit of homesickness. A common malady, indeed. One cure is to simply go home....”

“Oh, no, I can’t go home!” I covered my mouth. I felt my face and ears burning as soon as I realized had interrupted him. I hung my head, “I’m sorry.”

Cryan laughed, bright teeth peeking out from between his white beard and mustache. “Oh, worry not. ‘Tis an emotional time for all of us, especially the young.” He poked the coals with a stick before adding it to the fire, more smoked curled out around the two of them. “The other cure is to tell me what makes your home and family so special to you.”

I bit my lower lip as I thought. So many memories flooded me at once, and tears threatened to flood as well.

“Something to make us both laugh?”

Nodding, I took a deep breath. “There was this time my brothers and I played a prank on Cook, well, on everyone actually. We swapped the bags for the sugar and salt before the kitchen staff baked the morning bread. We had to sneak in during the middle of the night to the pantry when everyone else was sleeping.”

“Ah... that is an old standard. How did it fare?

“We pulled it off, but when Father found out, with the first bite of bread. He spit it out and threatened to have Cook and the entire kitchen staff exiled.”

“Oh, I can see your father doing just that. What happened?”

“We had to speak up and admit what we had done. We couldn’t let Cook and the rest take the blame. We had to help clean the kitchen for a month. That I do not miss, at all.”

“You still have chores here.”

“True, but then, I had...” I took a moment to stop the ever persistent tears....”I had my family.”

“For now, we’re your family. But hopefully, before long, we’ll all be back with our families. We all have loved ones we miss.”





“But we, brethren, being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavoured the more abundantly to see your face with great desire.” 1 Thessalonians 2:17 KJV
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This article has been read 422 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Betty Castleberry
03/07/19
Very entertaining. A little name mix up; the first time the older man is Cyran, then he is Cryan. He speaks with a lot of wisdom and does a good job comforting your MC. Nicely done.
Barbara Culler 
03/08/19
Great dialogue and body language. I could almost visualize it, except not sure what the MC was involved in where he had to leave his family, and be outside and all alone with the older man. Scouts?
Verna Cole Mitchell 
03/08/19
I enjoyed the little mystery involved in your story, wanting to know more. it was obvious the MC had left purposefully, and the homesickness was palpably. I really liked the wisdom of the old man. This could definitely be the first chapter of a book!
Laurie Glass 
03/08/19
Aw, I like how the older gentleman connected with your MC. And you left me with questions, wanting to hear more of the story. Nice job. :)
Corinne Smelker 
03/08/19
Love this character and how real she is. I saw the typos but they are easily fixed and do not detract from the story at all.

Well done.
C D Swanson 
03/09/19
I enjoyed your entry and it was completely on topic, so well done,
Thank you.

Blessings~
Allison Egley 
03/09/19
This is really good. I also want to know more. Hope you continue this story some time.
Joanney Uthe 
03/10/19
I felt like I was at the campfire with your MC. The imagery makes it feel like historic fiction, but I could not place where they were. Perhaps that is more evident in the expanded version to come?!?

Your characters are very realistic. I am curious as to why the MC was so quick to say he couldn't go home. Did he leave on bad terms, or was it a commitment to the group he was with on this trip? More questions for the expanded version.