Cliches and the Cat | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Cliches and the Cat | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Glass
11/12/18
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People sure talk about me a lot. I can’t always make sense of what they say, but that’s okay. I’m not concerned about their opinions of me anyway. I’m independent and in control. Even so, I have a lot of time to think, so I ponder their words just for fun.

They say I have someone’s tongue. What in the world would I want with that thing? It wags around at inopportune times, disturbing my peace and quiet.

Supposedly the rodents have a good time when I’m not around. What do I care? When I’m off doing my own thing, that’s all that matters to me.

When they mention something about me being afraid, I really don’t get that. Seriously? Why would I be afraid? I’m the one who sets the tone around here. I sit where I want no matter who is around or if I’m in someone’s way. I eat what I want and refuse anything else. I could go on, but my point is, does that sound like I’m afraid? Give me a break.

They think I devoured a canary. I’m pretty sure I’ve never even seen one. Besides, while I suppose I’d enjoy dining on a bird, that would be work. I quite appreciate being served my meals in my nice shiny bowl, so I’ll stick with that.

I’ve heard them say something about what I bring into the house. Really people? Since when do I even go outside? How could I possibly drag in something? Besides, I have everything here that I want and everyone around me is well trained. I realize others like me are different, but I personally have no desire to go out and bring back anything.

When they’re stressed, they say they’re as nervous as I would be if I were in a room full of rocking chairs. Do they really not know me? I’d be all over people in those rocking chairs so fast, making my demands, that they’d be the nervous ones.

I have to admit that I do take a little exception to it when they say there’s more than one way to skin me. Where do they get their ideas? I mean that’s just absurd and barbaric. Besides, I dare them to try.

But the one that I really don’t understand is how curiosity can end my life. Like I said earlier, I’m not afraid of anything, so it isn’t that. It just sounds strange to me. Besides, I have nine lives anyway, so I doubt that any amount of curiosity could do me in.

When I really think about it, I realize how funny I am. I’ve found humor in their silly sayings. I should do stand up. I’d make enough money for a lifetime supply of all my favorite foods, toys, and litter. Oh my. I’m rolling on the floor, and I’m laughing so hard my whiskers hurt. I can’t breathe. Oh mercy. Oh, oh. Ah. Whew. I wore myself out, but it’s a good tired. I was feeling crummy earlier, but I feel so much better now. It must be those dolphins swimming in my brain. Well, something like that. All I know is that laughter is as good as catnip for me.

I think that’s enough pondering and laughing for today. I have more to do, like sleeping on my velvet cushion for the next several hours. Now doesn’t that sound much more comfortable than to be on a hot tin roof? That’s another one I don’t understand.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

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