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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: TOURIST ATTRACTION(S) (natural or man-made) (08/06/15)
Mount Rainier

"We're going to Mount 'Ainier," cried
The delightful girl by my side.
"Is that it?" she asked, pointing still
To a small sagebrush covered hill.

"Rainier is still covered in snow,"
I replied, attempting to show
How a tiny glimpse could be caught
Of the mountain peak that we sought.

We stopped for tomatoes to slice,
On our journey to Paradise,
In our white sub-sub-compact van,
That could've carried the whole clan.

"Where did Mount 'Ainier go?" said she.
For the mountain we could not see
Through its opaque and misty shroud.
"It's still there, but we're in a cloud."

The equipped parental hiker
Dried a table with a diaper.
We munched lunch in the dreary mist
And prayed the clouds would not persist.

Warm and steamy coffee we found,
Then took off to cover some ground.
Hiking upon the Skyline trail,
We watched a marmot swish his tail.

A breeze, the clouds began to clear
And sunshine brought the hikers cheer
As the Mount briefly showed its face.
No, it had not moved from its place.

A daddy gave a word a tweak:
"That's why it's called a mountain peak.
It's playing peek-a-boo with you."
His son looked at it and called "Boo."

The toddler, with her cheerful smile,
Just blissfully rode along, while
In a type of hiking extreme,
Her stroller flew over the stream.

The bouncing boy found a puddle,
And running, jumped in the middle,
"Mommy," He cried, "My pants are wet."
As though the reason, he didn't get.

Again, the misty veil returned,
And all around the mountain churned,
As I stood in wonder and thought
How often I'd simply forgot,

When life's storm clouds gather thickly,
And don't dispel very quickly,
God is still there, he has not moved,
But has constantly faithful proved.

And like Mount Rainier, many are
Attracted to God from afar,
To take delight in his beauty,
And to admire his majesty.

When we prepared to soon depart,
Little miss said with broken heart,
"But we didn't go to Mount 'Ainier."
It wasn't enough to just be near.

May we all have this same desire,
And never, never, never tire,
But climb God's mount clear to the top,
And not once before our goal stop.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Noel Mitaxa 
08/14/15
I like the sense of wonder and excitement that flows through this work, though a minor red ink point would be to suggest that you include a clear ellipsis - a row of spaced asterisks or just and extra line-gap - to finish the narrative and to more-clearly introduce your devotional application.
Rachel Barrett
08/15/15
That was so touching. What a lovely way to tie in with the topic, and to bring out a devotional.
Bonnie Bowden 
08/15/15
I liked the poem and the devotional wrapped into one. Parents are always ready, like a diaper wiping the table down.
Ellen Carr 
08/16/15
I enjoyed this and could relate to much of what went on. I also enjoyed the devotional aspects.
Zacharia Fox
08/17/15
Clever! You really had the patience to let the story unfold at an even pace! This grew and grew until the end reveals a deep and well crafted message, all framed in a poem:)