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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Write for the FANTASY and/or SCI FI Genre (10/16/14)
Mara's shrill voice resonated throughout the darkness, "Who are you?"

"I'm the one who has come for you."

Mara quickly covered her eyes, the flash of white light temporarily blinding her. She responded breathlessly, "Indeed."

"You've been moving about in a robotic fashion. I'm not pleased. So it's time that you come with me. There's a plethora of unfinished work and therefore I'm taking you under my wings to guide you." The voice and words boomed and reverberated greatly.

"I've done all that I was instructed to do. What could I possibly have overlooked? I can't imagine having left one stone unturned." Mara squinted in the direction of the powerful voice, her eyesight slowly returning.

"You've done well up to a certain perspective. However, when asked to put the finishing touches on one big project you--how should I put this--caved. You unceremoniously took off. This was an involuntary move on your part, and it didn't go unnoticed. The consequences of your actions have serious repercussions."

Mara's eyes adjusted. Her mouth agape she methodically took in the sight before her. An unusually tall man with long white hair clothed in a long white robe that glittered. His hands held a book of ruby red in direct contrast to his snow white apparel. Mara stood silently occasionally clenching and unclenching her hands. Other than her hands she felt paralyzed. As if she wasn't in control of her bodily movements. Her eyes were huge as she watched helplessly, while her mind raced with disturbing thoughts.

"Mara! Pay heed! You don't realize that the next couple of minutes are crucial to your outcome. Your eternity is at stake. Listen up!"

She managed to nod her head. She felt cold when it became windy out of nowhere. The winds were whirling and buzzing about her ears her tears drying quickly as they fell.

"You were ordered to do specific things. You did very well on the first portion of the list...I had high hopes for you. But, then my child—you failed me. You decided to go in a different direction. You somehow deviated and categorically denied the original list and adhered to the other list. And, for that I must bring about a rapid decision."

"Please...."

"Silence!" The glowing figure slowly moved in her direction.

"I don't know why--why—I…"

"Why you what? Why you decided to go in that direction? What have you to say before I take you away?"

She bowed her head and closed her eyes before answering in a low voice, "I'd do it again without hesitation..."

The figure in front of her turned into a hideous form...Within seconds the white robe became black and green. The glowing white became an eerie orange, and the white flowing hair replaced with a scaly bald head. His scream was beyond bearable, "Why? Why did you go into the light? Why did you decide to follow Him? I had you prepared to marry me, instead you go with Him? You were a perfect disciple of mine. You did everything. You created havoc, you gossiped, you didn't go to church, you didn't read His word. You laughed at those who loved Him. You were almost home; I almost had you...Why?" He got to his knees and cried, "I was once a handsome being. I was supposed to be like Him. But I never made it…"

Mara felt an overpowering warmth caress her gently with a peace that she’d never experienced. The winds stopped howling, and in its place, the brightest sunshine she’d ever seen in her life. However, it wasn’t the sun, it was Yeshua the Messiah sitting atop a white stallion. He alighted from his mount. He was adorned in flowing pristine white robes, sparkling like diamonds, atop his head a crown of jewels. His voice soothing, pleasant, and inviting, “Mara, come with me. Your job is done here on earth. Come, you will be vastly rewarded. I’ve set a table for you before your enemies.”

Mara cried as Yeshua hugged her. She didn’t want to let go and wanted to stay ensconced in His loving and gentle embrace.

“What about me?” The screech hurt her ears.

Yeshua turned toward him, “Your time is almost completely over. Soon you won’t be able to cause problems in the world. For just a little while longer--and then you’ll be turned to ashes from within. Now GO!”

The horrible creature obeyed and immediately disappeared in a whirlwind…who knows where he’ll show up next…
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This article has been read 994 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
lynn gipson 
10/23/14
Wow, talk about brilliant. I am almost ashamed for you to read mine.

This is absolutely spellbinding, and if it doesn't rank well, I just don't know what to think about the judges.

Loved this one! It is just excellent and a creative take on the topic.

Robert Douglas Brown
10/24/14
This is a powerful article that is well written. It makes one stop and evaluate their life & make sure they are on the right path.

I think you will do fine with this article!
Dannie Hawley 
10/24/14
Fantastic job on this well-crafted piece! You had me every step of the way, reading with spell-bound interest. This is going to really speak to many of the casual roamers to the FW site who may be sitting on the fence. Powerfully graphic depiction of the truth. Thanks.
Noel Mitaxa 
10/25/14
Very descriptive and challenging work. Well done.
PamFord Davis 
10/27/14
The twists & turns took me by complete surprise; well done!

Wing His Words
Jenni Starkman
10/27/14
I must say, I was surprised by the ending. Good job!
Beth LaBuff
10/30/14
Wow! I loved the open-end! A favorite thought and line here, "I had you prepared to marry me, instead you go with Him?" Your sanctified imagination created a beautiful story. Great writing!