Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Cat and Dog (09/04/14)
- TITLE: According to our cats - The best things in life have fleas
By Margaret Kearley
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The best things in life have fleas
There’s a code on our calendar ‘cos we accede
There’s a strong possibility our felines can read!
‘T Day’ it states – could be ‘Torment’ or ‘Trial’ -
In truth it is ‘Tablet’ of this, no denial,
The four weekly trauma - de-flea and de-worm
Is about to commence: man the hatches, stand firm!
Step One: Shut all doors, allow no absentees,
Two adults, armed, ready, will thwart escapees.
Adult 1: pick up cat, wrap tight, firm in a towel,
Ignoring all the wriggling and ear-piercing yowl.
Adult 2: prise cat’s mouth till it opens up wide,
Then pick up the tablet and pop it inside.
Allow cat to swallow, it seems job is done.
Sigh of relief. The end of Step One?
Step Two: Retrieve pill where it lays on the floor,
Recapture the cat. Repeat process once more.
(Oh why can’t our felines become more aware
That worms in their stomachs and fleas in their hair
Are a source of annoyance to them and to us?
We’re doing them a favour, so why all the fuss?)
Steps Three, Four and Five are the same as Step Two.
The pill’s getting squelchy, 2’s fingers are too.
Step 6: Discard pill, peel back the foil,
Revealing a second for pussies to spoil!
We cut it in quarters, we hide it in food,
We mash it in gravy; our puss-cats collude.
(Oh why can’t our felines accept we know best
Submitting with grace to our monthly request.
We’re out of ideas on how to entice
The only step left is - seek canine advice.)
Our friends have four dogs – and in conversation
I asked them if ‘T-Day’ caused much consternation.
‘T Day? they query – whatever is that?’
(I shut the door quickly, to banish the cat.)
‘Tablets’ I whisper – for worming and fleas,
Have you a secret t’administer with ease?
‘No problem’ they bellow, ‘As easy as pie,
Just watch this procedure, then give it a try.’
A sliver of bacon is deftly laid flat
(Maybe acceptable for calcitrant cat?)
The wrapper of bacon’s then folded to hide
The felon-like tablet that’s lurking inside.
The dogs sit in line, and on cue, rise and beg
Rewarded, with glee, as a ‘parcel’ is fed.
One gulp, one quick swallow,
They rise high for more!
My hopes fully dashed,
I head for the door.
Its hard enough mast’ring the ‘tab-swallowing’ –
But to get cats to beg?
- An impossible thing!
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