The Official Writing Challenge
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Well done. Very interesting approach to the topic at hand.

God bless~
This is definitely original, and well-devised. I love the metaphors that symbolizes man's condition. Among my favorite: He's seen the sleaze build-up beneath your hood, and knows how much it hurts."

There were times when I was a bit confused about the comparisons. I understand the points you were making, but consider this: Ex: If you're comparing one's life to a car, cars don't use restrooms, or eat at diners. Perhaps if you had stayed with one metaphor, your great descriptions and remedies for man's problems would stand out even more.

You were definitely on topic, and you ended with a solid message.
Wow-simply marvelous use of words my dear. Yay for your originality and tickle the funny bone antics.