The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Now this was different, most definitely thinking outside the box. There's a hidden message in here of a Great Price that was paid for us as well.
Reading the beginning, the story certainly went in an unexpected direction but it was an enjoyable read and good vision of unmerited favor!
This was an original story to illustrate the point and the message came over loud and clear!
Nice, and so true about the high price.

Since you asked...the dialogue didn't feel real for guys. Also, I'm not sure I "got" all the symbolism between the game, and the reason they were there. Could just be me.

But I love how you wrapped it up. He never disappoints!
I liked it. It was creative and original. I heard the message loud and clear without you stating it.
Original and well done.