The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Oh.. what an exciting story. I love when my brain can open up and think of God as being outside human dimensions. Doesn't happen often! Thank you!
Very creative and with an excellent message.
03/23/09
Such a daring leap of imagination.

Somehow you presented rather exotic material in a very readable way.

Well-done, well-done indeed.
This is so very fun to read, and what a message! I could clearly see your mc zooooping around. Your discriptions were very vivid. Again. . . WHAT A MESSAGE!
I was beginning to feel tipsy along with your mc :)

Well done. I often wonder why we think that we have God all figured out. This was a great piece! Thanks for making us think outside of our human experience.
03/24/09
I ZOOOOOPD right along with you. Felt a little like I had been spinning around and then tried to walk straight.
Interesting. Got my attention. Young, creative.
Mona
03/24/09
Very unique approach to the topic. You made a "complicated" issue so simply. I really enjoyed reading this--great job.
03/24/09
Wildly creative, and a rollicking fun read! Loved this!
Wonderfully imaginative. This should remind us all that we cannot put God in our own little "box". Good job!
03/24/09
Those sound effects - and that tone - are WONDERFUL. Such a fun entry.
03/24/09
What a great reminder of how little we know and comprehend of God's Kingdom. Well done!
03/24/09
I don't understand it is an understatement in my life. You took an incredibly complex topic and brought it to my understanding, thank you.
03/24/09
This was seriously deep, yet totally light enough to read and reread with complete enjoyment. Fantastic handle on the topic (and WOW, so creative - where on earth did you think of these "common" things?)
Very creative you certainly zapped me into your story!
Well done.
Sorry meant to also thank you for your comments on my article. Much appreciated.
03/25/09
Whew! I'm dizzy with all that zooming around!
Very creative and interesting!
03/25/09
Fantastic imagination! You made me feel small without feeling bad about it.
This is the kind of message I always want to give to the JWs when they try to wrap God in a box and hand Him out in neat little packages - only I never can find words to describe the indescribable...
Very well done indeed.
Gerald, you are certainly not going backwards in your writing quality! This was creative, fun and well written.
Wonderful concept for this topic. I like the "sound effects", and the humor was just enough - you added lightness without belittling the deeper meaning of your article.

Itty-bitty red ink: "envelope" is a noun, "envelop" was the word you meant. And I think the ending would have been stronger if you stopped after the last "zooooop". The last two lines feel tacked on.

I like the way you start, tho. I can sense the MC wanting to blurt out the whole thing, then having to back up. The voice is good, very personable and "real".