The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You did a very good job with yout writing here, as you bring us to sit with you. You also made the ending realistic enough instead of unrealistically sappy.
Good job at describing realistic emotions!
Very Nice story. Great charater developement with a well delivered point. God bless.
Very nice job. I felt like I was sitting there in the room. Blessings, Cheri
I liked the fact that you didn't give the pat answers. You were there for her, listening and caring. Yet, obviously had said enough at one point to get her to ask the question. Powerful emotions here.
The conversation was moving and believable. Unfortunately, too many people really live this way. Strong ending, and very good piece overall.
I love how your "christian" didn't have to offer anything. I loved hearing her thoughts, and watching that poor woman see what she needed. The seed was planted, and God made it grow. Wonderful!
Very touching and so well-written. I enjoyed reading this very much. Thanks for sharing this.
Creative angle for parent.Nice to read a sad story that doesn't end hopeless. Unfortunately reminds me of some extended family.
Wow! I loved how descriptive you were. I could imagine the characters and the situation perfectly in my mind. Those are always the best written stories. The ones where you feel as if you are there with them. My favorite line was "Fresh tears follow familiar lines to her chin." It just helped me understand that this is painful to her and she has cried about it before, probably multiple times... hence the familiar lines on her cheeks. I loved it!!! xox