The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)
Who are you looking at, old man? I see you through the fog. The gray hair, the wrinkles, not to mention the miles; yep, lots of miles. You’ve been traveling so long; do you even remember where you came from? Yeah, of course you do. Let me wipe this mirror so I can see you better, old boy. There you are; I’d know that face anywhere. Your eyes aren’t as empty as they used to be. Thank God for that.

Where’s that scared little boy we know? Ah, there you are. Don’t be afraid; you know I won’t hurt you. Come out into the light where I can see you better. I haven’t seen you in a long time, although I still feel you around sometimes. Yes, I know you’ve been hanging around in the shadows. I’ve kept folks away from you; I know how shy you are. I remember you being so quiet that you couldn’t lead a silent prayer. Don’t worry though; I do the talking now. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, too. Most folks never know you’re there, but I do. How could I forget you; we’ve been through so much together. Shhh …. Don’t cry. Those bad days are over, for good. I promise. For someone to get to you they would have to go through our God and me first. So don’t you worry; He knows our name.

Oh, look … there’s that young groom. You were nervous about that wedding day, huh? But aren’t you glad you didn’t let those cold feet rob you of the best thing to happen in your life, except for God, of course. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t thank the Lord that you stuck it out. Where would we be without her? I don’t even want to think about that.

Well, look who just showed up! Hi, Mr. Dad. Holding your daughter for the first time changed everything, didn’t it? A life out of love. My heart races just remembering looking down into that little face. Yes, I remember you trying to keep the nurses from seeing the tears in your eyes. You weren’t as macho as you thought, were you? The entire world changed when you became a dad. Remember how you struggled turning loose of that wild, self-centered musician, but I am so glad you did.

Who’s that longhaired bearded fellow on the back pew? Look at him; he’s bawling like a baby with a death grip on that pew. Yeah, you just thought you were going to leave the same way you came. Even though the alter call had closed, you learned how the power of a song in Christ can penetrate a heart of stone. Turned your world upside down; didn’t He? But, oh, how much lighter and complete you felt that day. Even though you learned to walk by faith and not by sight or feelings, didn’t it feel wonderful? I get goose bumps just remembering that day.

Is that wedding bells? Yeah, look at you in your suit walking your baby girl down the isle. Didn’t seem like she should’ve been old enough for that yet, but working away from home so much allowed her to grow up fast. And there you were with tears again. The Lord sure turned you into big crybaby, didn’t He? There’s nothing to be ashamed about, trust me. These eyes stay lubricated and for all the right reasons. But you did have regrets, didn’t you? Missing so many of the important things with your family, telling yourself you were trying to make a better life for them. Did you? Would things have been better being home more and bringing home less? I guess we’ll never know now.

Well guys I’m going to have to finish getting dressed. Going to visit the grandkids. They need to see their Paw-paw … the truth of the matter is their Paw-paw needs to see them. Of course they know that they have me wrapped around their finger, but I don’t mind. I’m doing my best to teach them the things we’ve learned together. What curves to avoid in life, which roads are the hardest and most importantly which one is the straight and narrow.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store for the rest of my life on earth, so step up to the line boys, and I’ll race you to the end.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1634 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
06/22/06
This is like a slideshow view of this man's life--I really like this unique approach.

One minor spelling glitch: "aisle" instead of "isle" (unless she's getting married on a tiny island).

This is clever, unique, and very creative.
Edy T Johnson
06/23/06
"Unique" doesn't seem an adequate word to describe this wonderful conversation between "me, myself, and I" that you have written. This is just so delightfully clever. A reader can't help but fall in love with this fellow, as his story unfolds.
Lynda Schultz 
06/23/06
What a wonderful POV. Enjoyed this very much. One other little "glitch". Should be altar not "alter", although responding to the altar call does alter one's life! Good job.
Rita Garcia
06/26/06
Creative, unique, wish I could find the perfect word. The honesty, the openess of this life through the looking glass!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
06/26/06
This is amazing. You smoothly covered the emotions of a lifetime in 750 words. Beautiful job.
Sherril Wendling
06/26/06
George, this is exquisite! What a powerful, natural voice you've developed here; I was absorbing rather than merely 'reading,' it's so strong. (I hear guys really do talk to themselves like this--remember "The Truman Show?") Wonderful piece!
Ann Stocking
06/26/06
Brilliant and clever. Very well written.

(some missing commas in the last two paragraphs... "Well, guys,..." and "...the line, boys." Just a minor oversight; you have direct address nailed in the other places.)

I really enjoyed this... really got a sense of a life well lived.
terri tiffany
06/26/06
Boo hoo! Very nice, very touching... you hit it right on the nail in your descriptions of the wedding and the church scene. Nice style!
Pat Guy
06/26/06
Wow George! I ab-so-lute-ly love this! It IS brilliant! Who cares about those tiny little glitches! I hope you do something about this one!
Kimberly Mitchell
06/27/06
Tell me please...where did you learn how to write? This is really good. :)
Anita Neuman
06/27/06
George, I LOVE this! What a creative, introspective approach! Your vulnerability makes this piece so real and endearing. I love the crybaby line. The whole thing was so touching and nostalgic. Great job!
Marty Wellington 
06/27/06
Terrific, introspective way to look at one's life. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Jan Ross
06/27/06
The title fits -- Life at a Glance -- and it sums up the story written so well. I loved it. Thank you! :)
Tiffanie Chezum
06/27/06
This is very well done. I enjoyed the unigue POV. The title was perfect.
dub W
06/27/06
Loved the approach, like a movie or slideshow tracing the man. Great writing. Hope it wins more than a mention.
Trina Courtenay
06/27/06
George, I'm with dub, hope this places. As I read through the entries I end up letting more than a few know "they are my favorite" this week. But some weeks that's just how it is...and you are one of my favorites. I loved the line...couldn't lead a silent prayer...I've been there.

Blessings!
Trina<><
Garnet Miller 
06/28/06
Great story. Life's snapshots can be interesting can't they? Good work.
Shari Armstrong 
06/29/06
Wonderful - I loved going step by step - creatively done!