The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/23
Excellent, excellent piece! You gave your points in order and wrapped it up well at the end. Keep up the good work.

(One critique, if I may: Pay close attention to 'point of view.' You have both Holly's feelings and Miss Harkness's thoughts in the first paragraph. Stick with one or the other. Or create a 'break' to switch point of view.)