The Official Writing Challenge
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Wonderful story. It is about how God can transform us over time.

Were you trying to write this as a short story? Either way, the beginning is listing a lot of facts rather than "showing". The first sentence should draw us into the story.

I counted 7 descriptive words at the beginning of the story. Does it really need that many?

This has the potential to make a really good short story.

Good to hear it is true. Keep writing.