The Official Writing Challenge
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12/06/19
Sweet story. I would encourage you to have someone proof read for you or use an online editing tool. Keep up the good work.
12/06/19
This sounds like it would be a fun full length novel. Good job introducing your main character.

Red Ink: Aim to stick with one point of view. While the first two paragraphs seem to be from the mom or dad's POV, the third paragraph switches to Simone's.
12/06/19
She sounds like quite a character! Her story would make a great novel.
12/07/19
I like how you compared the girls ambitions to those of Peter. Nice story. Blessings!