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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: RED (02/01/18)
Means Dangerous Guide

Peter grew in a city suburb. He had one parent – a mom. He dropped out of school after primary school partly due to lack of school fees but also interest and peer pressure from rogue friends. With the pressure of school off his head, Peter took to drinking, smoking, dancing and sexual immorality. He also started doing some petty trade to earn some money to finance his lifestyle.

As luck would have it, Peter struck some good deal which earned him a substantial amount of money, enough to enable him buy a motorcycle of his dreams. He already knew how to drive it, courtesy of his friends who used to give him theirs to learn from.

After a few weeks of driving his brand new asset in the suburbs, he decided to brave it out into the busy city. He asked one of his trusted friends to give him tips on how to navigate through the hectic city.

“You must always drive on the left, observe traffic lights and be careful about falling in the hands of traffic police in white uniform”, Peter was counseled by Eric.

“How do traffic lights work?” Peter asked curiously.

‘“Red’ means danger and ‘green’ means ‘no problem’” Eric explained.

On the fateful day, Peter was hired by a business man to take him to the city center. That was the type of incentive that he needed to galvanize his courage to brave it out to the city center. He looked forward to a day he would narrate his city experiences with his friends.

Everything went well until Peter pulled in at the main junction near a major national hospital. The lights turned red! He gunned his Honda motorcycle and off he flew like a bullet shot from a gun.

As he was making that fatal move, the vehicles released by the green light raced by at a high speed. The first vehicle hit Peter at such a momentum that shattered the motorcycle into irrecoverable pieces. Peter lost his right leg and his left arm and one eye. He was rushed to hospital where he lay unconscious for four weeks before gaining full recovery. His mother was devastated to have her only child a helpless cripple for life. For Peter, he wished he had died instantly instead of living such a wretched life.

Fiction Depicting Common Occurrences in my City With Daily Evidence in the National Hospital Casualty Department.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
02/08/18
Wow, good job with the topic. Moving piece, thank you.
Blessings
Jude Harris 
02/08/18
Oh my! What a story! Good descriptions.
Dennis Gallemore
02/10/18
Life in the fast lane...sometimes ends very badly.
Dave Walker 
02/12/18
A dramatic story, especially, as you say, though fiction,it depicts true events.
It would be vastly improved by less of just telling the story and more of painting the scene and letting the reader imagine it. For example:
One day a business man approached. "Hey, Peter, you've got a bike. I need to get to the city. Can you take me?"
Peter's heart raced. This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for to try his bike out in the big world.
Good use of the topic. Red was certainly central to the story.