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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: CHALLENGE (08/17/17)
Jade felt a sense of accomplishment as she placed her toothbrush back in the holder and wiped her mouth with a towel. She examined her face in the mirror, looking closer to see if that blemish had finally cleared up on her forehead. Backing away, she couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under her eyes. She felt tired, to be sure, but was hopeful that tomorrow would bring the change she had been praying for.

“I know I can do it this time” she thought to herself as she ran the brush through her long brown hair. She had received much encouragement from a conversation with her Pastor, and felt a hope that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Jade turned to leave the bathroom and reached to switch the light off, but she hesitated and looked back at her reflection once more. She hoped that when she looked at herself in this same mirror in the morning, things would be different. They had to be different.

Morning seemed to arrive much sooner than Jade was prepared for. She could sense the light in the room from the little bit of sun that made its way through the open cracks of the drawn curtains. Instinctively Jade pulled the covers over her head to block out any light. As she allowed her mind to wake up, she remembered that this was to be the day. She played the words over and over again in her head, “You can do this. There’s nothing to be afraid of. God is with you every step of the way. You’re not alone in this. You can do this…”

Jade finally pushed the covers off of her and she sat up in bed. She squinted as she looked toward the small beam of sunlight that peered through the curtains, resting on the bed beside her. She could feel the warmth of the sun as she placed her hands in the beam, where she examined them in the bright light. “My skin is dry. I need lotion.” Jade touched the delicate skin on the back of her hands, noticing how transparent the skin actually was. She saw wrinkles in her hands she had never noticed before, and was amazed by how she could see the veins move as she pulled the skin this way and that.

Remembering the task at hand, Jade rose from her bed and made her way into the bathroom. She purposely avoided turning on the light before using the toilet. She even managed to wash her face and hands in the semi dark room. She was afraid. She was so afraid. She looked under the sink to find the lotion for her hands, but it was too dark to see. She was going to have to turn on the light. And if she had to turn on the light, she knew she would have no choice but to look in the mirror. And if she looked in the mirror, she would know if this was the day for change, or if it would be just like all the rest.

With her hands shaking, Jade reached for the light switch. She closed her eyes as she flipped the switch upward. With eyes still closed, Jade slowly turned around to face the mirror, preparing herself for what she would see looking back at her. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and her mouth was so dry.

Jade’s eyes gradually opened and she saw that familiar face looking back at her. Her hair was mussed and those confounded dark circles were still there. Then, with all of the courage she could muster, Jade walked closer to the mirror, keeping her eyes fixed on her reflection. She was searching for answers as she gazed into her own dark eyes. Desperately trying to find life, she could still see the loneliness, and the pain. The familiar voices began taunting her again. She tried to silence them in her mind, but they just seemed to get louder.

Jade’s heart sank, and a lump grew in her throat. Her reflection became blurred as the tears welled up in her eyes. In despair, Jade turned around and flipped off the light switch. She pulled the curtains shut so no light could break through. She crawled back into her bed and pulled the covers back over her, trying to shut out the world. She had failed, again.

Depression is real. God bless those who suffer with it.
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This article has been read 587 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lynda Schultz 
08/24/17
Very moving description. I remember my own mother's long battle, and thank God that though the battle is real, there is help—both human and divine that can ease the pain. Well done.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
08/24/17
The emotions in this piece were raw and real. This was a forthright story about a debilitating illness.

This story had a powerful message.

Don't give up and seek help when necessary when your troubles seem too overwhelming to handle on your own.

Thank you for your courage in writing about the struggles with depression.

God Bless
C D Swanson 
08/25/17
Depression is a very suffocating and life depleting disorder which you described very well.

My career was based in nursing homes, and having been witness to this debilitating disease of the mind, this story resonates the struggles of all those who have it.

Thanks for sharing your heart with our hearts.

Blessings!
Bonnie Bowden 
08/26/17
The MC described the debilitating effects of Depression well.

I hope those who are suffering reach out and get help!
Larry Whittington
08/28/17
to me, the story did not seem like a story about depression but a story of a person not content or satisfied with the complexion God had given her.

It was all good except for the final sentence.
Bonnie Bowden 
08/31/17
Congratulations on finishing highly commendable in the Advanced category this week, Lisa.