Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Cat and Dog (09/04/14)
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TITLE: Lake of Fire Chronicles II - Pestilence | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gary Ritter
09/05/14 -
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“There are some of you who hate me more than the rest. May you rot in this place – hah! Whether you like it or not I’ve got a tale to tell. You have no choice – we’re all stuck here forever; deal with it.” His dreadful grin revealed blackened, rotted razors for teeth.
The annual gathering of the denizens of the Lake of Fire was a no-option event. Their dwelling was one each had ultimately chosen by rejecting God. The un-perks that came along with that were certain requirements each inhabitant had to endure. This alumni assembly was one such item. Since eternity was…well…forever, this get-together was rather old hat: the stories regaled were endlessly tiresome, but that was eternal life in this most dreadful of locales.
“Many of you humans know me well.” Beelzebub pointed to a man sitting near the stage who had dark hair and sported a funny little mustache directly under his nose. “Adolf! Now here is one of my favorite fellows. He created a lot of work for my legions of flies. Ah, I see you’re in much agony, Adolf. So glad for you.”
The demon pulled an extra long flyswatter from his hip pocket and smacked the lectern with it. “Got you, you little bugger!” He picked up the dead insect, popped it in his mouth, and smacked his lips. “These Hawaiian picture-wing flies are such a delicacy.”
Seeing that the audience was more restless than usual – not that they could go anywhere – Beelzebub closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He ignored the angry hum from the gathering as it increased in crescendo. Finally, when the snarling of disapproval had reached its climax, he opened his eyes. “Sounds like we’re ready now.”
He motioned to the backstage and a human darted out. A massive swarm of jumping, leaping, miniscule creatures likewise surrounded him, but his enjoyment level didn’t match that of the demon. In fact his misery was palpable as he tried to keep the bugs from sucking his blood – to no avail.
“This is Harry,” Beelzebub said. “While Harry entertains you with his useless antics of trying to escape the inescapable, let me tell you about the grief I gave him in his life on earth.
“Harry and his wife, Dorothy, had a cat and dog. I’ve always been fond of furry animals. They make such perfect hosts for infestation. Their cat had somehow, during the course of its young life, escaped my tender ministrations; but, as I usually did, I got a foothold in the family’s home. Through that infamous foot in the door I gained the means of distressing them even more by bringing intense discomfort to their “little baby,” as they called the wretched feline creature. (I was always partial to dogs but, whatever works.)
“At first husband and wife thought nothing of the scratching, licking, and biting of itself their cat started doing. By the way, the cat’s name was Cuddles. Isn’t that precious? After a couple days of that Dorothy woke up and wondered what was going on. Cats are always grooming themselves; just little bundles of self-inflicted cleansing energy. This was too much, though, for the wife. Dorothy’s suspicions were aroused. She was petting Cuddles one morning and saw a tiny movement from the corner of her eye. It was an infinitesimally small insect. What could it be? Ah, the suspense! It jumped from the back of Cuddles neck onto her leg. A flea! Where did that come from?
“You see, Harry had been unfaithful. This lustful adulterer…” Beelzebub turned to Harry with affection, “I hate you, man…had brought fleas home from his paramour’s house. Harry’s family did all it could to eradicate the little buggers: wash the beast, vacuum, spray insecticides. It was great fun to watch. They...hey!”
Satan entered stage right with a hook. In a moment Beelzebub was gone. Satan put an arm around Harry’s shoulder. “Folks, you deserve a break. Meet the new Lord of the…Fleas!”
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Well written too.