The Official Writing Challenge
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A nice piece. I liked how you used the story-telling medium for your initial illustration and then moved into a more personal discussion. It works well together - it would make a good devotional.
Very interesting approach. The only suggestion I would make is not to included explanation of what might be "foreign" words to your audience, ie."Gis (karate uniforms)". The context should give the reader the clue (or give him a good reason to look for a dictionary). Good work.
I believe that the explanation of foreign words is necessary. Perhaps you could put them at the end of the piece. A good real life story about the need for humilty from a first person POV. Good writing indeed!
This is so true, and I had pretty much the same thing happen to me!