The Official Writing Challenge
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In the first part of the piece I would replace the word said with asked. I would also place Melody's direct speech first before I write the comment. Lastly, the theme joy could be explicit.
11/07/21
I enjoyed your story. What a great example of how many of us were so stubborn before finally coming to Jesus and accepting His grace, mercy and salvation—the only thing that can bring us true joy in life.