Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: DIARY (05/16/19)
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TITLE: Love Enough for a Lifetime | Previous Challenge Entry
By Laurie Staples
05/23/19 -
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She and my dad were flying to see my sister. The airplane had just starting it’s initial descent and my dad sighed and placed his book facedown on his lap. He turned and stared at my mom until she looked up from her own book.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he smiled. “I just wanted a kiss.”
She leaned over and kissed him affectionately. He took her hand in his and whispered that he loved her. Then he leaned back his head, closed his eyes and took his last breath. He didn’t even squeeze her hand in pain.
*******
I only found my mom’s half-hearted attempt to write down her thoughts in a diary when I began to sort through her stuff after the Lord took her Home.
There were only two short entries in the entire almost eighteen years she’d lived without my dad.
The first entry was written a few months after his funeral—just two sentences: “I still can’t believe he’s gone. My life has no purpose.”
The second, written a little more than a year after the first entry, was similar, “Craig [my brother] came by today. He seemed to be doing a little better. My life still has no purpose.”
But she DID have a purpose! My brother was blindsided by a betrayal he never fully recovered from—but my mom’s unconditional love and wisdom helped him survive the worst of it.
Six months after that last entry, Craig’s plane crashed and he joined my dad in Heaven.
After Craig’s death, there was no reason for her to stay in Florida and she moved up to MIchigan to live with us.
At the time I was pregnant with my severely impaired son. What a gift it was to have my mom by my side during those anguished days after his birth. Each day brought more devastating news about his prognosis. She reminded me daily that God doesn’t make mistakes, that we may never know why Brett was born the way he was, but we CAN know his life has purpose.
My mom was a constant source of strength for me. She’d never allowed herself to wallow in self pity and she made sure I didn’t either. She was never one to ask, “why me?” but rather, “why NOT me?” She lived a life of pure gratitude—undoubtedly the secret to her contentment
When I read the words in her diary questioning her purpose, I gulped back sobs, “Oh Mom! It was for ME—I was your purpose! God knew how much I needed you. I still need you.”
She never wanted us to pity her, and until her death I never fully grasped the depth of her loneliness. How I wish I could have those last few weeks of her life back! I would never have left her side.
She’d written so many poems (but never shared) about the incredible love she and my farther shared and her desperate longing to be reunited with my him. Some were just half written, scribbled words on pieces of scrap paper.
The following was the one that encouraged me most, the one that allowed me to rejoice for HER sake—finally able to follow my dad to his heavenly home.
Enough Love for a Lifetime
When first you said you loved me and vowed that you’d be true
You promised me a lifetime of love, if I’d only follow you
So I placed my hand in yours and trusted that you’d be
Everything you promised and you’ve surely given me
Enough love for a lifetime, enough to see me through
Enough love for a lifetime, that’s why I followed you
You gave me precious babies I could cuddle and adore
And days so filled with happiness, I couldn’t ask for more
Our lives were filled with laughter, adventures bright and new
And through it all I’m thankful, I chose to follow you
Then one day God called you home, and I was left on earth alone
How could I be without you? The one that I adore
I followed in your footsteps for 40 years and more
I felt the awful sadness was more than I could bear
Then I remembered what you promised, your love, it still was there
Enough love for a lifetime
Enough to see me through
Enough love for a lifetime
Till I can follow you.
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