The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/25/17
Interesting story!
03/02/17
Good lesson for all. You had a great start and I could see the topic in it. My own thoughts are that you had two points going when one would have been great to expand on. The fever part didn't add to the story. I would have enhanced the part of the story about the conflict between your apprehension about his flying and his need for it. Just my thoughts. I noticed several grammar/punctuation errors. The one question mark confused me. Reread it to see if you can spot it. One helpful hint if you don't know about it. You can get the dash by checking online or on your computer under symbols. My Windows 10 has me use the: control-alternate (hold down) and then the minus symbol on side number pad. Some editors don't like the double hyphen. God bless.