Glamping | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Glamping | Previous Challenge Entry
By alan kane
08/20/15
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Cast:

Paul
Mary
Steven

[Mary is sitting down with her leg up, doing cross stitch. Paul enters, waving a letter]

P: You must be out of your mind! What on earth made you accept this invitation? Two weeks in one location with the Flintstones?

M: Don’t be cruel! They just like living without all the mod cons that you just can’t do without.

P: Precisely! The Flintstones. Prehistoric! Fred and Wilma. I do not want us being their Barney and Betty Rubble. You will ring them back and make any excuse. [Hands Mary the phone]

M: No, I won't! If you want to, YOU DO IT!

P: I don't care if he is my brother. I totally refuse to spend one week, let alone two weeks, camping with him in the tent next door. Knowing him, he’ll be communing with nature. [Puts his hand on her lap.] My dear Mary, I would willingly spend a week in your company; just tell me where, and we'’ll go and raise merry hell.

M: Paul, I do love you as well, and I appreciate your desire to please me, but all I want this year is a slow-paced vacation. It’s been such a crazy and eventful year. Unfortunately, my leg is not fully recovered after breaking it skiing during our winter break.

P: We could hire a winnebago and do Route 66. Many great sights along the way…

M: Paul, please no. I just want quietness and to stay in one location.

P: How about that new six star pleasure hotel? [Opens up a glossy brochure]

M: No, Paul! I just want a quiet, out of the way place, no luxury or grandeur.

[Paul stomps out to make a coffee. Offstage, there’s the sound of slamming draws and cupboard doors.]

P: [Still offstage] Hi Steven, it's your brother. About this invite – we can manage one week, not two, so we’ll see you in the second week. Looking forward to seeing you all – let’s hope the crossing is smooth. Say hi to Susan for us. Laters! [Walks back in with two drinks.] All organised!

M: So I heard – thanks, I do appreciate it. [Kisses Paul’s cheek, then reaches for her cup, drinks and screws up her face.] You forgot to boil the kettle, it's cold! I’ll go and make you one and some lunch as well.

[Curtain closes and reopens on a small boat]

P: [throws up over the edge] Why didn’t we fly, Mary? I hate sea crossings.

M: [Makes a sweeping gesture across the thundering white horses.] Just look at those waves! Aren’t they gorgeous?

P: [wipes vomit off chin] Mary, I love you, but please leave me alone! [Mary walks to the front of the boat]

P: God! [moans] Please get me through this tempest. I’m sorry for not spending time with you. Sorry for leaving you on a dusty shelf with my old family Bible. I know I’ve never really been to you; if anything, I thought you were a joke. [shakes his head] I am NOT going to make a deal with you! [Throws up over the edge again. Slowly pulls himself up. A lighthouse comes into view, He watches land approaching, then the beam envelops him]. Actually, I’m wrong! Thank you for your protection all these years; I didn’t deserve it. I now see you have done throughout my life. Maybe I should have a chat with my brother about this.

[curtain: reopens with Paul and Mary on the quayside, beside the boat.]

P: Mary, finally! Solid ground! Sorry for shouting at you earlier.

[Mary comes up and wraps her arms around him.]
M: [Laughs] Now let’s find your brother, we need a drink! [Walks up a long path from the harbour ]

P: Look over there! That’s the entrance to the campsite.

P: [Backslaps Steve] Jeepers, Steve! This is a swish outfit, here. I had visions of tents like Dad made us cram into when we were lads.

S: Nope, we call this glamping. Have a look at this tent.

[Steven holds the door open to what could only be described as palatial]

P: Mary! Come look at this – they even have a hot tub!

M: [Mary nudges Paul.] I think you might survive this hardship.

P: You might actually be right on the mark.

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