The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/26/05
Very nice story. You might want to limit your use of 'then' abit and change up the start of your sentences some. I liked your voice in telling it!
kinda reminds me of the story in the bible of the widow and her son. She was going to bake a cake for herself and he to eat then die; but the propet Elijah came and asked for the last. Familiar ring? Great story! with a more modern twist, I liked it.
I liked this take on an old story!