The Official Writing Challenge
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Very curious to hear more of this story! You definitely had me engaged.
I enjoyed this. But, I too, am curious about "the end". Maybe you can write the sequel for "HUH?"
This was engaging with just a bit of humor in it to make it a "want to read." I agree with the others, I want to read more, pleeeeeeease.:0) Well done.
I think you have the beginning of a book here...I want more!
So... where's Chapter Two? :-) Very engaging story, right from the beginning. Had me wanting more!

A thought about logistics: if the officer opens the door and yells at Nan, then they should be away from the door somewhat. They backed into the hallway, but were still outside the door. Perhaps as Sheryl is adjusting the bag on her shoulder, you could say something about them walking back to the elevator, or stairs?

Once again, great piece!
I'd like to read "the rest of the story" as well.
Enjoyed this, I love mysteries.
You had me interested, but left the question unanswered, "who done it?" Do we get a Part 2?
Okay, now that was totally unfair! You string us along with a great story, and then suddenly, we're dangling over the cliff of 'Huh? That's it? What do you think you're doing?" Good visuals, but I want some more.

Good story and dialog but a nasty suspense hanger at the end. WE NEED MORE INPUT!!! ~ LOL

Great job.
The oops and the "uh huhs" were a bit of a distraction. I was not engaged enough to wonder what will happen next because the two MC's nonchalant attitude at a death left me uncaring also. If mystery writing is going to be your forte, keep practicing.
I love the detective stuff ... but who arrived on the scene first? the women or the officers?

Looking forward to the rest of the novel.
I love a good police mystery - can't wait to read more! (hint)

The plot error? First you have the ladies arriving first, then later you say the officers did.

And me thinks Nan knows more than she is saying.... hmmmm...
The thing that always strikes me about your writing is your deft touch with dialog. Love it, and also the swift pacing.
My first thot was why Nan would put a pencil in the barrel of a gun? Everyone should know not to tamper with the scene of a crime?
Clever little mystery.
Enjoyable entry, especially the opening sentence. I see it as the story beginning with an "oops." Clever!