The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/14/10
You have a great flow and style with this. Check the punctuation in a couple of places - the little errors are the hardest to catch. Overall, great job!
01/14/10
Warm interaction with a gentle reassuring close. Watch your tense and check a thesaurus for some synonyms, as the word "stated" seemed more formal than the scenario needed. Otherwise it's an excellent snapshot of life.
01/18/10
A+
01/18/10
Great flow. In about the 10th paragraph there's a tense shift. Aside from that, a terrific story.
01/22/10
Great story! Congratulations on placing in your level! Have you checked out the Writing Challenge forums?
01/24/10
Great story. Your attention to detail with the 'little red bag' gave your MC credibility as a true carer. Well done.