The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/23/09
I liked the twist as the MC explained why she didn't want to have the celebration. Just my opinion, but I thought maybe starting with the conversation, or at least part of it, would draw the reader in. Then you could fill in the background details in the middle. I hope there are more teens out there with a heart to give and serve.
07/28/09
Oh God, help parents to talk to their teens more, and not just about things, but how they need to get outside of themselves and help others. Thanks for the encouragement by way of this story.
Fascinating story about Mexican customs! What a unique way to be ushered into adulthood. Loved the tenderness of the mother and the expected loving actions by the father.

This would make a good full story!

Blessings,
Jeanne